its me

i just start this by saying that iam none ohther than a desparate girl who wants love and affection.don’t know why god have designed my life in such a different way.In my chilhood i used to be a dancer,singer,script writer and even more a cheerful happy go lucky girl.all of a sudden everything changed dramatically.Being only daughter everyone called me lucky.in my 11th class i started my journey towards pain and day-to-day crying.Who knows that a single girl gets cheated from her own friends just because she looked pretty than her friends.i always wanted to smile even at bad situations too,,but see my fate has driven me to such a state that i was made to smile even with lot of pain in heart.In just oneyear i saw many things happening like friends cheating,avoiding with no cause,getting into common teenage issues and all that.But soon i realised not to cry upon these things and life is so sweet so just enjoy and leave these things.”Be happy always” this was the only thing that led me alone through all those problems.
soon i have joined my engineering,i had my new problems ready waiting for me.My first year ended up with having ragging,new friends(indeed true ones),and even a big crash…
this was the only thing that changed me and my whole life
its love ,,
it may be easy to think that “ooh!another failure love story ..” but it is a love failure- story where there is no love but many failures..in which i have lost myself
he entered into my life just as a friend but turned out to be my first love..how would i know that this person don’t know what is love,,i started to talk with him and he made publicity over this.he even came to my house and told my parents about all this.That was an end to the love and affection of my parents on me.they started to shout at me beat me black and blue.i never cared even for that but just realised that he is not the right person for me.
now
that guy started to harass me threaten me,create every moment of mine in college horrible and terrible.I uesd to handle every situation with my courage and nevr gave up..as usual rumours incresed day by day.Every one thought that i ditched him that is why he is causing such problems.every one talked ill of mine,as of am nothing less than a *****.
i bared everything beneath my teeth.my parents just hated me that i can know because they used to think that iam hiding everything from them and finally am in wrong path.my college,staff,students,parents everyone stood against my feelings and my truenature
why is this world not able to understand that iam not a person who is cheating everyone and i just wanted to make everything happy and wanted to live in my way.
i don’t care this world,my environment but i care for myself that is why i can’t hurt myself anymore,,i can’t hurt my feelings,i can’t hold this pain and act to be happy..
my mind and heart are troubling,,my soul is aching,,this is terrible,,i need myself back,,i need to regain myself it happens only if physical existence is not there then my soul and i will be free from all the situations that harass me and trouble my sweet life anymore..
i love my life that is why am writing all these so that atleast some of you could understand what my last words were..
🙂 keep smiling am not commiting suicide am just finding a way where only me and my self independence and confidence along with my self respect exists..
thank u,,