I made a mistake — the biggest of my life — and I hurt the love of my life. I hurt her more so than anyone has ever hurt her. It’s been over a year since I initially hurt her; over a year since I’ve seen her; over a year since our last departing hug. But, she won’t forgive me; she won’t see me; she won’t talk to me.
I tried to kill myself to get her attention when she was going through her own problems. I emotionally raped her.
The only thing I want in life is to have a life with her. But, I don’t know what to do to ask for forgiveness; I don’t know what to do to be able to hold her hand again.
Everything else is superficial.
Why won’t God help me with a chance to share my life with her? How do I pray for this one thing — the only thing — I want in life?
I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live my life without her. I’m a good person and she and I can have a great life together; all I need is a chance.
I love her. What am I supposed to do?
2 comments
Speaking as a person who has experienced hurting someone i loved. Saying sorry means nothing, they say actions speak louder then words. I showed how sorry i was by becoming a better person ultimately its their decision to decide whether or not they forgive you. And if they can’t then you just have to let it be and if you love someone enough you’ll let them go and let them enjoy their life. And in doing that even though the person i loved didn’t ever forgive me and hurt me back i still feel good about how i handled things. I changed became a better person and ultimately that person just couldn’t forgive my past mistakes and im letting go. Despite the fact that i still love and care about that person even though he hurt me i still want him to be happy. its hard and its extremely painful but i don’t deserve anymore pain and i really do wish for him to be happy.
I wish I knew. I lost someone I cared for so much. Just a friend but he had become the one person I could talk to, the one person who made me believe in myself, the one who gave me hope. My entire life has been people hurting me and leaving me and making me feel worthless and he refused to give up on me. Whenever anyone was cruel, he defended me and tried to make it better. But I guess he was weaker than I thought because eventually he gave up. And he refuses to speak to me. And I don’t know what to do.