My last words

Tonight I die. This is my 3rd attempt, and I think I finally got my suicide figured out. I am not mentally ill or depressed, right now I am actually quite calm. My story is simple, I had a good life but threw it away because I am a compulsive gambler. My friends and family bailed me out countless times and yet I don’t learn from my mistakes and dig myself back into the same hole again and again. I am a sinner and don’t deserve better. I just wish that before I go… I can give back all the money that I owe to my friends and family so they don’t have to live with my financial burdens. I have already accumulated roughly 250,000 dollars in new debt and I can’t expose my friends and family any further. I am a terrible person, I don’t expect and sympathy from anyone. I just hope my friends and family the best. And hopefully when I pass away I can watch over them. If I go to heaven and see god, I will ask that they take my place in heaven. If I go to hell and see the devil, I will ask if I can carrry their sins. Good bye cruel world.