suicide project…

Em, to be quite frank I could give a toss about existing as a science form of a “human being”, who, at this point, feels as though I cannot connect to society on any sort of level that is going to be productive for myself, my future, interactions with others or work any harder than I have for financial security for when I am at an age whereas I cannot look after myself anymore. Personally, I find the world around us has screwed anyone that gives a sh*t about a decent life, it is obviously a mental f*ck of whereas I have no energy to compete with the privileged and underprivileged idiots that exist under an organized, again, “society” that is obviously doomed as humans are entirely f*cking selfish, untrustworthy and exhausting to deal with. I do not believe in “God” or any type of religion (at all), in this life or otherwise that would or would not dictate assistance in what is going on in my brain. I feel I am unable to cope due to mental weakness; science, really. It is not spiritual, it is how humans are making their way through their lives; they mentally have strengths and weaknesses. I want to give up on my fight to be happy. We presently live in a world of medication, manipulation, materialism, survival of the fittest and duh, a science of evolution of what we are and whether or not you (or I) can adapt or live happily…I feel helpless to this presently, I am disgusted with the planet I live on, with myself and the fact I cannot find the motivation to make the best of my time here on Earth. Perhaps I am missing that part of my brain (sounds ignorant or terribly pathetic perhaps, I am simply tired of living). I am educated, have not had a horrible life to this point and have traveled quite a bit which makes this post difficult to share… I simply think if you are fed up with this existence, in my case, my own, then check out. There is so much good and so much beauty in the world; however, if you struggle so much to see even seconds of it, let alone a week or two and years of your life go by and you get to an age where you know it cannot be helped, then find peace with termination. I have no attachments, no family of importance or worth in other relationships to keep on, so to be quite frank, why bother? I would hope the people that do find strength to enjoy life should deserve to live one. I do believe in the quote “Get busy living or get busy dying”. Indeed.