Time Stands Still

In Othello, Desdemona is smothered by her lover, Othello. Throughout the past year I’ve been telling myself I could never do that to you(I could never do that, physically, to you). However, it dawns on me that my pounding on your door when you needed space was in fact me smothering you. I am smothering you now just by sending you this letter. I am so sorry for this, for everything.

Bronte said it best between Jane Erye and Rochester: There is something inexplicable beneath my left ribs that was once connected to you in a similar fashion; but that connection has been severed and now I bleed inwardly.

Time stands still in dreams; I being poor have only my dreams. In my dream I love you always. I have loved you through eternity — a depth of forever multiplied by infinity — through time and space. Time stands still for me because you are the love of my eternity.

I believe(ed) that a higher power aligned our paths for a reason. My belief was only fortified by coincidences that couldn’t be happenstance. However, there is the variable of free-choice that determines whether or not our paths cross. I tried to force your choice by smothering you with pleas, with my life. There aren’t words that can express my sorrow for what I did and am doing to you. But, I am so sorry.

I don’t know why time started its tic-toc again for you or why you stopped loving me before we broke up, but I know time stands still for me as I love you more than Othello did Desdemona, Rochester did Erye, or Dante did Beatrice.

I have spread my dreams beneath your feet. I will be sent to jail for ten years, but my dream will persist through frozen time. However, I won’t write to you again although hope keeps me waiting to hear from you. I miss you forever and always.