I am beyond done with school. I’m not doing well in it, and i’m lonely as hell. It’s been like this for the past 3 years and I have one grade to go. I don’t want to do it, i’m just plain afraid to do it. Getting pushed away from your friends because you don’t fit in with the group they’re friends with isn’t fair at all in my perspective. I’ve tried changing my attitude, and EVERYTHING about myself. But I don’t want to try so many fake appearances anymore. I want people to enjoy who I am, for me. Not who they want me to be. So I decided to confront my parents about it tonight. Had a nice hour long conversation about it… ._. They said they’d consider letting me do my courses online, which made me beyond happy. The DOWN side of this, is that they want me to go and see my doctor, so he can give me some type of mood pills, and suggest me to a therapist. I believe if I want to do my own work at home instead of school, that’ll be a definite condition. If I go through with seeing the doctor and telling him everything that’s going on, I don’t know where to start. Am I supposed to tell him I cut myself? That I take excessive painkillers that aren’t prescribed to me? That I HATE everyone I know except for my two close friends? I’m pretty sure if I did he’d just send me to some insane house. So if I can’t tell him that much, what do I tell him…?
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3 comments
Hey Supern0vaa,
Tell him the truth. Even if it is embarrassing for you to do so. If you end up hiding the truth you won’t get the help you need. The support you need. And, well you might have to go there for a little while. To get better. To make yourself better. You are worth it aren’t you? You are. And do you truly hate everyone you know? Or are just disappointed and upset with yourself? You might be surprised at that answer. Be honest with your answers. If you hide your answers you will alienate the help you need to move on.
To do your work at home, Supern0vaa might be a condition, but conditions can always fluctuate. Always change. Always. The fluidity of life. But, that requires trust. Trust in yourself. Trust in the other person. And yes, sometimes that trust gets betrayed. Sometimes that trust gets betrayed unintentionally. But, where would we be without that trust? And if we get into a rut, and the person that we relied upon is trust worthy, they might just be able to pull us out of the rut, if we get stuck in one.
Just tell them the truth. It’s better than living a lie. Than trying to back track to make amends for it. To get the right medication you need right off the bat instead of getting something that could make it worse. Don’t want to make it worse. Why make it more painful than it has to be? The truth.
Hope that helps.
Also, let the therapist know you do not want medication! They offer it because it is one of the many tools available, but it does not mean it’s the only one!
One of the best things came for me was my therapist/councilor. She was that person who not only knew what was going on in my life, but I trusted that she knew how to handle it.
My advice is don’t hold back. They will not do anything you do not want them to do. This includes patient confidentiality.
Go for it, and be that amazing person you need to be.
Just be who you are. If people can’t handle it, then they aren’t worth your time.