birthday.

a ‘birthday’ is just a day … an excuse for others to celebrate anything that doesn’t remind them of their own pathetic condition … and to be honest, those that wish us happy birthday may genuinely be thankful we’re in their lives … or they are just doing the socially expected ritual – which is fine too, if not hollow and meaningless to us, it may help their condition if only for a short while.

age is just a number …again, society has put stigmas on the number … bu yesterday you were 39, today you’re forty (been there done that) … people often ask, “how does it feel?” … … society seems to expect some profound change and revelation … but in fact … nothing has changed but the date on the calendar … we still get up and go through our routine … if anything the day becomes depressing because we see our birthday as our “annual review” and our age to compare how our lives “rate” compared to others – but it’s a false choice – it compares apples to oranges and therefore a futile exercise.

It’s just a day … like tomorrow and next tuesday … more of the same … but only we can choose how we view our days … any day we want can be a happy celebration of whatever if we choose. In the face of all our adversity, we can CHOOSE to NOT let the negative be the major focus of our time … for instance – I have TOTALLY dismissed the pending foreclosure of my house … nothing I can do about it (short of winning the lottery), so worrying is a total waste of time and energy. i don’t let that fact drag me down on a daily basis.

all that said … smiles … genuine or not, … are free and painless. I give them out regularly – especially to people who are sleep walking through their day … they don’t expect it and it tends to give them a brief moment of humanity … for a brief moment I see the fog around them clear and they “see” … and it genuinely brightens their day. who knows … it could have been one of the people here on SP who has been walking through their day thinking “i’m invisible – the world doesn’t see me – it doesn’t care” … and then some anonymous person looks INto their eyes, SEEs them and SMILES … and they say “Wow … I’m NOT invisible … maybe I’ll stay for a while longer”

Smiles also mask my pain to others … I already KNOW they don’t care … so why inflict their life with it … they have enough problems … if they can say “Hey … if that poor wretch can smile, maybe my life isn’t so bad after all” … then my soul (if you believe in such things – i don’t really) gains a gold star for the day.

Everyone wrestles with demons … even those close to us … and they hide it best … so although a smile may do nothing for you at that moment, maybe it will be just what they needed … even if it is YOUR birthday.

Happy birthday jules

smiley dawg

Getting older used to bother me when I’d think I was “running out of time” until I came to the realization that “time” is a control mechanism to force us to do stuff when others want it done. anymore ‘time’ is of little value to me … same with “age’.

I use to appreciate when people actually found remembering my birthday something they actually expended energy to do … but now that “there’s an app for that” it’s mostly disingenuous.

I find it kind of creepy when others make a big deal out of MY birthday … but since I’m a nice guy, I won’t piss on their parade … just like I try not to debate people who believe in god/bible/heaven/hell … if they believe it and it makes them feel good … then that’s their choice, good for them – just don’t try and ram it down my throat because more often than not I know and studied it more than they did

app dawg