cant go on much longer

Dear Futile, I am sorry you are feeling so bad. Thank God that your little daughter is in your life. Have you been to a doctor? It sounds like you need medication badly. Of course, I know that when you feel so bad it is really hard to believe that medicine will help. I had a really hard time with that. But after I had 3 cycles of major depression I decided that I needed to get on something to try to prevent it from happening again. It did work for me. So, if you are not on medication, maybe you could take a step even though you may not believe it will help. ? Surely those around you know you are unwell. Could you ask one of them to help you get to a doctor? Maybe even go with you. It will take anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks for medication to work. Bummer, I know. But, it is better than not doing anything to try to get relief.

Just some thoughts. I’m so sorry that you are having to suffer like this. I absolutely know that it is not so simple to just pick up a phone or go somewhere when you feel the way you do. Every breath is actually an effort. I hope that it helps, though, just to know that others have had the same pain. And it can go away. I hope that you will find a way to get some additional help.

Also, anything you can do to just pamper yourself and let yourself not feel any obligation to do anything right now until you feel better is a really good thing. Try not to beat yourself up or let yourself feel guilty. You are sick. If you had Mono your doctor would tell you to take bedrest for weeks and let your body recover. This is no different. Your brain is over-taxed and needs a break and the last thing you need is any guilt or shame with that. Let someone who loves you read this if they don’t understand and maybe it will help them realize that you are not the only one who has experienced this and you need support. I got better and you can too. It will be worth it if you can endure. I’ll say a prayer for you to find some small enjoyment and hope. Again, what a blessing your little girl is. She needs you and loves you no matter how you feel Get better. Sending good thoughts and caring to you.
Kara

So glad it helps, futile. I did pray for you. I prayed a lot when I was sick, too, but it didn’t seem like it helped. However, I believe that it did, but I had to wait in order to see the results. Believe that things are getting better even if you can’t see or feel a difference. Things are happening in invisible realms. And don’t forget to reach out for help too, k? Keep fighting. Know that your daughter is blessed to have you here even though you don’t feel well. Know that you bring her joy and let that keep you willing to keep on going. You are cared about.