Okay, so when i was three years old, my parents got divorced. I was fine with it, and everything was okay. Untill my dad got remarried…
My step mom has been a b*tch to me basically my whole life. It was kinda like the Cinderella story.. but for a few years (when i was about 7-12) everything was okay. But now im almost 14,. & the past 8 1/2 months or so have been shit.
Its not all because of my dads family. Some of it was me making stupid decisions. I know this may sound ridiculous because im only 14, but ive had to deal with a boy who treated me like shit too.
Here the story on that; about april of last year me and my friend went on a walk to this kid josh’s house. Me and him liked eachother and sort of had a little summer romance. But when school started it all changed. We went to diffrent schools and according to my friend he had been cheating/flirting with other girls. But i was convinced that he loved me. So we dated off and on for about 5 months. But he would always blame me for breaking up, and make me feel like shit. So we broke it off for about a month. Then in december we hung out again, and we had sex. Its was ok to me, becuase i was convinced he loved me and i lived him. But it wasnt that way at all. About a week later he told me the only reason we did it was to make my friend jealous. I cut him out of my life for awhile, but he still keeps trying to get me back. Hes a player…
Also, in january, i decided to go live with my mom. I decided since i was about to go to high school, that it would be alot easier to live with her and spend time with ny dad every other weekend than to be going back and forth every 2 days or so. Also i was just sick of my step moms bull sh*t. When my dad got the paper work he was PISSED. and ever since then hes been belittling me.
I had already been deppressed because of the thing wih my ex. But then when your parents tell you they hate you and dont care what you want, it makes you hurt even more. Ive cut several times, and i personally think it helps.
but now, im really thinking about just ending it all. Ive lost so many people that ive loved in the past year that i just cant deal with it anymore. Then last night my step mon was blaming me for my parents divorce. She told me i was worthless and didnt deserve to live. and im starting to believe it…
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5 comments
baby girl you deserve to live you are only 14 years old and world belongs to you and about your ex forget about him in this life you will have much more ex he wont be the first take care and dont cut love 4 u
Hey I’m only 15 so it’s not stupid, I’ve had to deal with three guys who treated me like shit. I cut nearly every night and I can reassure you it is not what you want to do. Last night I managed to cut over a major vein in my arm and I nearly died so it’s not a good idea. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was 11 and have carried them out 5 times already possibly counting. My parents aren’t divorced but I know what’s it’s like to be treated like hell from them. I hide away a lot in my room or listen to music. I’m rarely in the house maybe that might work for you. As for believing your step mom about being worthless. Dont! Everyone in beautiful and talented and worth everything to someone albeit more to themselves in some way or another. You are very special to one person even if you haven’t found them yet 🙂 I have felt that way all my life and I know it is a horrible feeling, I stay around my friends the most and I talk to my closest friend about everything. Maybe trying to talk to the person closest to you or you feel most comfortable with might help. (Sorry this is so long :/ ) Living with your mom also sounds a good idea, specially if she treats you much better than your dad and step mom. Maybe if you feel safe enough with her you could tell her why you’re depressed, I know that is a very hard thing to do but it might help. Hope everything works out in the end and sorry I feel like i’m braging a lot :/ Anyway stay strong sweetie things’ll work out in the end, you’ll see!
Good Luck and much love 🙂
Tears x
I hide alot in my room at my dads. Then i got an 3 1/2 hour lecture about being “distant”. They just try to controll me all the time, and make me feel guilty about going to live with my mom.
And i dont cut constantly… But it just feels good when i do it. I know its bad, but its alnost worth it.
I get ‘Controlled’ a lot too but then when they lecture me I pretend to be even more distant. It does feel good to cut but for how long? Does it really take the problem away? Not permently after the pain is gone there is still the emotional pain isn’t there? As for them trying to make you feel bad, if it’s your choice and inside you know it’s the right one then it isn’t up to them. No one can tell you what you feel inside that is you yourself. They might think it’s bad but that’s their thoughts not your’s. Don’t let them brainwash you otherwise..
i feel you,my dad dated this women for 8 years, she had 3 mean grandkids that would start fights with me, the evil womens name was bonnie,she would verbally and mentaly abuse me wen i ate, i was being abused and starved everyday at my moms, i was 15 pounds under weight, mabey even more, and you could see my bones just poking through my skin almost,so i would go forever without eating,unless noone was there or looking,but the truth is, it took me along time to realize it wasnt me, it was them assholes who had to go and be mean to a kid or teenager, you aint worthless,im 21, and sometimes i still think i am,only because there are more shitty people in this world then good nice and careing,once you find those good people it will feel alot different,nothin is ever easy,so just keep your chin up nomatter what,