honest to god, i hate my family. for several reasons. i guess the main one is that they’re all really condescending and do pretty much whatever they can to make my life hell. im not exaggerating, my father got on my case this morning for deciding to eat breakfast. my sisters are just as bad, as they seem to have a bit of an inability to keep off my fuckin’ case. my mom is a bit better, but she’s always asking the wrong questions when i get depressed and reminding me of my self-injury when all i want to do is forget about it.
now school is going to be getting out, which means i’ll be spending a lot of time with said family. i live way out in the country, so there’s no way i’ll be able to get away easily, because i don’t drive yet. the only redeeming facet is that i have a job [even if I hate it], so i’ll not be home constantly.
still, it’s time at home. i hate it there; each and every one of those bastards has this special way of making me feel like shit. and I can’t react to it. i’m handed the worst situations i’ll likely ever experience in my young life and i’m expected to lay down and take it with a smile because god forbid my family let me have actual emotions.
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If you want to understand why you’re family behaves the way it does you can check out John Bradshaw on youtube. He pioneered family systems theory… He did a talk called Homecoming for PBS & there are many clips that discuss all dysfunction in families & why parents act as they do & the affects it has on children. I found it lifted a lot of weight off me cause I understood what was going on & didn’t need to feel bad about it.
After watching a lot of it, I felt released from a lot of guilt & I understood the truth which is pretty healing & liberating stuff. Good luck!
I wrote a post on here a while back called
the Symptom Bearer
Also talking about systems theory and how one family member often has all the symptoms.