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Frustrated

by nopatience

I have no idea what to do. I just need some help, I guess.

So, here’s my story.
I’ve been battling depression & anxiety for 7 years now. I’m sure I’m not unique here.
I’ve also been fighting Interstitial Cystitis for 3 years. Basically, my immune system is trying to kill my bladder. I’m in constant pain. It feels very similar to giving birth. I can’t deal with the pain anymore, and there is nothing the doctors can do to stop the disease or the pain.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of nearly a year a few weeks ago. Not a problem. We just didn’t get along anymore, and it was my decision. No biggie. The problem is that he has a new girlfriend, and I’m here alone. I don’t want him back, and I’m happy that he has moved on, I just want to know why he got a new girl so quickly and no one seems to want me for anything more than a fuck buddy. (Which I do NOT do.) Lots of guys just want to get their dicks wet, but I want a real man in my life who loves me for me. Why does he deserve that and I don’t? I’m not ugly or anything, I’m actually a pretty good looking girl. Still, no one wants me. Why am I not good enough?

I have just been feeling so hopeless. I only have 1 friend in my life, but she is amazing. The problem is that she has lots and lots of friends, works 2 jobs and has no time for me. So, I’m always alone. I’m a college student, and my workload is intense. Most of the time i cant handle it.

So… I’m lifeless, loveless, and in constant pain. My mom tries to help, but i’m just a burden to her. I really just feel like giving up.

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3 comments

dunkelheit 5/20/2012 - 1:40 am

Have you tried hot water to reduce the pain?
You are sure good enough. And yes, not the only woman who has that problem, women want love and caring, sex comes later.
Those men aren’t good enough!
Hey hey, why don’t you just make some new friends? They don’t have to be close to you, but it can relaxen you when you are with them, cause you can’t think too deeply when you are not alone. Smile and say “hi” once, it comes 🙂

Joel 5/20/2012 - 4:02 am

Im sorry and I did read your story and I want you to know I wont kill myself so I can continue with drug (******) manufacturing and development to one day hopefully help you, despite all the greedy selfish executives in my industry, and the corrupt politicians.

Have you found anything that helps your spirit? Your in pain, I’m sorry. Does anything work to help it?

Personally, I could give a rats ass about sex. Really, love is in the hearts and mind, sex is just a self fulfilling act. If a chick doesn’t have a spirit, I cant get it up. If a chick has a spirit, she knows what to do, and I cant help myself. I spent a lot of years trying to rid myself of brainless lust, now I feel a lot better.

Rain Alicia 5/20/2012 - 1:09 pm

Dude we sound so much alike. I bet youre gorgeous and guys dont feel like they could be your bf so they fantasize about having sex with you. Just shrug those idiots off. Your ex? Just looking for attention..he’s just rebounding. My ex of a year and a half recently did the same thing. His new gf wrote me and told me how she feels like he has no feelings for her and that he’s just having sex with her for the hell of it. I had a realllly good laugh. You will too when you find the perfect REAL, strong, sexy, caring guy like I did…and (the sex is better) I mean we arent together anymore but only because I broke it off because of other things going on where i cant deal with a bf right now..but I know he’ll be there when i’m ready and I’m so glad I didnt stoop to my ex’s level and rebound like he did. Just wait it out, hon. 🙂 Its worth the wait

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