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I lack the ability to be persistent,so it’s the end of the line.

by jackraiden

Up till now, i have always tried to change my life.

 

I have tried to be consistent, in everything but failed..in everything.

 

Everything i try from losing weight to even brushing my teeth ends up not being done, and im sick of it, im sick of it all, life is a god damn chore that i don’t want to join, its sucks,i have no one else that understands me, no one, all i have are idiots around me, my family and friends will never understand me and how painful it is thinking this way, getting up to wash your face feels like climbing a mountain.

 

I will never have anyone to share my life with, which is the main reason i decided to give up.If i had someone who can push me when i won’t push myself then i would continue on doing my best, but i have no one left.

 

For the people who understand how one gets to this point, you must know how it feels like, just waiting for someone to grab you by the hand and drag you up with them, you getting married to that person, happily ever after bla bla bla.

 

But that never happens,i will die alone and miserably, and yet i don’t want to change, im too scared to change , im too scared to do anything about it, so why not die now? Alone i can achieve nothing , i will achieve nothing.

 

In the past 4 years, i have lost everything, and people around me have shunned me 1 by 1, which proves how hateful and unrelenting society is.

 

I’m still waiting for someone to come pull me up, someone who truly understands what it means to be at the bottom, dont misunderstand me, this is not a plea for help, this is a post that might stay here forever hopefully, a part of me that won’t dissapear.

I want success, i want love, i want friendship, but i will never have it, so fuck it, move on to the next whatever.

 

I don’t believe in god so what awaits me next is my non-existence.

 

Fuk, i cant even type properly because of how depressed i am right now,people are judgmental, will always be judgmental and continue to hate me, and i hate them, i hate you all.

 

There is no way other way.

 

There is always winners in life..the same as there are always losers in life, and that’s me..bad luck? My fault?

 

I don’t care, goodbye….

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4 comments

dunkelheit 5/14/2012 - 11:38 am

How can you have a good life as you believe you won’t?

Pain is sometimes addictive. But when you are determined to shake yourself and wake up, you rewrite everything and achieve to escape from your dark hole.

There are two choices: one is to change it and the other is to suffer. Remember that there are people who feel like you, the only problem is that it’s hard for the human being to support each other, that’s all.

Wish the best for you.

kt.nw 5/14/2012 - 1:04 pm

If you want to succeed and be a winner in life you have to persist at trying. It’s not other people who will pull you out of depression it’s ultimately down to yourself. I hope you don’t end it, you’ll never know what you could achieve if you do. I go through periods of extreme depression and did the only way out of it is to learn to see things more positively by taking tiny baby steps towards where you want to be and noticing the tiny accomplishments, I find that the only way to get trough the worst times.

letitbleed 5/14/2012 - 1:34 pm

I feel theexact same as you. lfe is a chore and full of morons. 🙁

nadalaa 6/10/2012 - 4:38 am

You don’t care, huh? Looks like you do.

“Winners were losers once.”

“No one starts out at the top.”

“Life is what you make it.”

How many more quotes do I need to steal?

You are lost buddy. You don’t know what you want to do. The only way is to find out.
It might not come to you on it’s own. So try different things. You don’t have to be a lawyer, doctor or CIO of a company to be happy or successful. For $%( sake people have gotten famous because of a friggin sandwich and some fried potatoes sticks!

‘Everything i try from losing weight to even brushing my teeth ends up not being done, and im sick of it, im sick of it all, life is a god damn chore that i don’t want to join, its sucks,i have no one else that understands me, no one, all i have are idiots around me, my family and friends will never understand me and how painful it is thinking this way, getting up to wash your face feels like climbing a mountain.’

I don’t even know where to start. You expect to lose weight by sitting on your ass? lol
You need to find motivation. Try to find friends that shares similar goals and support each other. But YOU have to WANT it. Right now, you don’t want it. You probably feel like shit because you haven’t fulfilled a goal yet. Try to at least reach one goal, even if it means forcing yourself. Push your limits. No one is that fragile. Once you make one accomplishment, no matter how small, it’ll be the best feeling in the world! And it’ll make you want more and more..

‘For the people who understand how one gets to this point, you must know how it feels like, just waiting for someone to grab you by the hand and drag you up with them, you getting married to that person, happily ever after bla bla bla.’ No one will, because nobody wants a burden.

‘I want success, i want love, i want friendship, but i will never have it, so fuck it, move on to the next whatever.’

Fuck it? Then apparently you don’t want, success, love, or friendship. People have those because they want and WORK for it, not all that ‘fuck it’ bs. Success? Everyone has to work for it. A lazy bastard won’t make it in life. Love? No one will love you if you can’t love yourself. And you obviously don’t. A beautiful woman will fall head over heals for a not only lame, whiny Friendship? Would you be friends with a pessimistic loser who’s lame as hell, not willing to work for anything he wants and see the bad in EVERY DAMN THING?? Some people are privileged, some aren’t. But those who do work for want they want are widely appreciated.

You do nothing, you get nothing. Deal. With. It.

Typcial American Dream-
To become famous, rich or atleast richer than all your highschool friends and make them feel like shit compared to you, have an attractive partner, big house with a hotub and a dog.

Should be everyone’s dream-
To live life how I want to and to hell with everybody else.

Before you bash society, remember that everyone live in different societies. And YOU are part of YOUR society. You say people are judgmental, everyone is judgmental, and you’re no exception. Sad part is, you don’t even realize it.

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