I envy most of you beucase you have god as a net for when you fall. I dont believe in god so my fall has no bottom I have been inside the lowest nihilism and lost the motivation to self harm I have felt like just laying still in my bed forever. I believe that hen i die I am gone forever Religion has actually been a large cause of my problems becuase It showed me that humanity is gulible and that they will murder over somthing thats core message is love and peace.
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The world has no true justice or karma and a prime example is one of the people who hurt me is highly popular with perfect health physical and mental and goes on monthly vacations with their rich family. Me being a nice good hearted person is completely fucked already and has lost all interest in life