Im not worth this life…

End Of Time

Back in January, i really realized that my life really sucked. Im an overweight 15 year old girl in 9th grade. I always hated myself in middle school because it felt like i didn’t fit in with anybody. And it felt like nobody liked me. Then, the bullying started. In 7th grade =, this boy named Cameron started calling me names and pushing me in the hallways and stuff. He called me names like fat ***** and ugly hoe and stuff. He got expelled for that because someone saw what he was doing and reported it to the principle. Then in 8th grade it got worst. I tried with all my strength to ignore it but it got worst. When i started 9th grade, this girl got on my last nerve. I tried being nice to her and try not to say anything negative, but she was making it very hard for me to. I tried to start a conversation with her or try to help her with her work when she needed help, but she would just say, “im not talking to you” or would just flat out ignore me. i only have 1 real friend at this school and her name is Nikki. All my friends are leaving me and dont ever want to answer my phone calls or text messages. When i lost my best friend Alexis, thats when everything went downhill. Me and her were friends since 1st grade and she goes to a different high school then me so i guess she found some new friends to hang out with instead of me. And to add to it, i DO NOT have a relationship with my mother or my father. So, one day, i finally realized that im not fit to belong on this earth. So i decided i wanted to take my own life. So when i was home alone, i went into the restroom and open the medicine cabinet. I saw all the pills me and my mom use. I grabbed all of them and took them to my room. I poured them all onto my bed and starting swallowing them one by one. After i was done, i laid down.I felt a little weird so i close my eyes and tried to rest for a minute. Next thing i know, i wake up in a hospital bed. I stayed there for about three days and they tell me that they set me up to go to a therapist for suicidal teens. I still go there till this day. They set me up to take a psychological test. I took it and found out i have major depression and ADHD. I don’t know what to do anymore about anything. I really dont want this life anymore, at all.