Is Hiding the Answer?

I just wanna know if this is the right thing to do?

I haven’t been to school for the last three days, I told my mum it was because I felt ill. I deliberatly made myself ill so that I wouldn’t have to go. The reason is, I get bullied really badly at school all because of this boy who found out that I self harmed and that I’m suicidal. He spread it round the school and now everyone knows, I’m too scared to talk to anyone and I’m too scared to go to school. Also I have so much homework that I haven’t done because I’ve felt too bad to do it. My teachers scream at me and ask me why I don’t do it. How can I exactly say to their faces ‘Miss it’s because I was cutting my arm and letting it bleed in an attempt to take my life’ I can’t. They would tell my parents and then I’d be known as the ‘phycho’. I just don’t want to face them all anymore. I don’t want to move school either because I don’t want to have to start all over in making friends, I’m fine with the ones that I still have… It’s just I’m too much of a coward to face them all. Also I don’t want to be a failure to my mum, I just want her to be happy with me for once…

I’m sick of letting her down all the time, I’m sick of all this needless pain, I should never have picked up the blade in the first place, I should have been more careful. Maybe then he wouldn’t have noticed.  Maybe I really should just commit, they might understand what it’s like if I did but then I’d just be another number on a chart of statistics. I’d be no different and there’d be no one to really care much about it.

Now my lead singer Dave wants to know why I cut, how can I tell him my problems. I know he cares but he has so much going on in his own life he doesn’t need to know my problems does he? He wants to be there even though he has other things to do, I just don’t understand why he cares this much…