My… Our first date…

I went on my first date with Jasmine. Although it took nearly forever to get to see her (about 2 hours), I got to see her and whatever deity or unknown force decided to fuck off today. 

Alex, her brother was there too. He understands the situation now and so does my brother, I love Jasmine and there’s nothing that will change it. 

Even though I feel sexual thoughts for her, let me tell you that since she’s a girl, and I’m a guy, then that means… I will get sexual feelings for her? Yeah thats right. 

But I was so nervous it took me till we were waiting to get picked up to show any affection. I told her to sit next to me and then I held her in my arms while we waited. Nothing more, I was too nervous and anxious to make any more moves. 

I regret not going for a goodnight kiss, but I will see her soon enough especially since she left her credit card with me, since she had no pockets. 

My only regret is not kissing her, I love her laugh too, I told her something funny but kind of dumb and she laughed. I was nervous as (older) people passed by as I was worried one of those faces I might recognize as our parents. I could still feel the warmth that she dealt on me as she leaned on me and I held her and her and I rubbing our fingers on each other’s hands. I love my cousin, absolutely. I will take it slow, until we’re comfortable together (comfortable should be spelled with an n instead of an m). 

All in all, even though my day started horribly, it ended well. 

I miss her now, like a drug, but better, hopefully I don’t become possessive or something. I thought i feared commitment. Jasmine I love you