nothings worth it in my life

i follow every single rule in place for me, why can i get out of the fucking system? then you get these lucky bitches who get off and they are in no shape or place to be and they go and do drugs or illigal shit,while im working my ass off, i want to run far away,but the only people that would even look for me is the cops,im 21 years old,i feel like a slave, slaves had to fight for there freedom to and thats exactly what im doing,i want so much in life that the average person that walksd past me gets, that it makes me not want to live,i want to have a kid and treat um better then iv ever been treated, but since im on commitment , they will take it away, but yet those bitches were allowed to abuse me my whole life,nobody took me away, wtf?i cant drink, when im around my friends i cant even have a sip, they will lock me up for it, if i miss one single pill they will to, they are keeping me from being humane, they let all that abuse happen to me and thats the only reason they got me were they want me,how am i sapost to live my life wen i have to watch my back like a hawk,if people would just fuck off then i wouldnt feel this way,my sister drink and took pills till she almost died and went in acoma,all the cops did was give her an underage drinking ticket,if that was me they woulda locked my ass up, im not mad at her for people that think that, i hate the fact that they are only trying to control my life,i wanna fucking live to!fuck the goverment fuck the cops fuck the judge and this group home company,and some people are lucky to have family, in my case, family is who ever loves you,cuse i never had shit,