I have been obsessed with someone for the last 4 years. All he did was lead me on and no matter what I couldn’t walk away. He is all I think about. I just want to see him, talk to him and be with him. He’s been ignoring my texts and he treats me like shit. I have tried hundreds of times to move on, I have gone through months without talking to him and throughout that time I broke down and refused to talk to anybody, I just stayed in bed listening to music and cried non stop. He always talks to me again though and continues to lead me on. I have tried so hard to like other people, Ive been sexual with 13 other boys trying to get over him. I have tried so hard to develop feelings for other boys but I just cant because I have shut off my feelings towards anybody else and I did that along time ago. It’s become impossible. I cant deal with this now and no matter what people tell me I cant move on from him and if he were to find someone else I know I would cause problems for him, I would break down, go mad and set my dodgy mates to kill her. I know people that can do serious harm and it scares me. It’s out of my control, we cant help who we fall for. I just don’t know what the hell to do.
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As a guy, im going to tell you the truth, we are all oblivious. Have you ever tried telling this guy how you feel? Because if you didnt, trust me he wont ever see it. I literally had a girl tell me she had feelings for me, but because i was so obilvious i thought it was to good to be true because i was in love with her for so long and i thought she was to good for me. So what did i do, i chickened out, and told her we should go slow, and when i finally grew balls and was about to ask her out, she no longer wanted me. I think its because she felt like i rejected her, or she just couldnt deal with me not understanding her feelings right away. And now im the one that is heart broken again. But my point is that guys are oblivious 75% of the time, and unless you tell us how you feel, or make it obvious for us to understand, we will probably never really understand.
But if you told him already, and he is just playing with you, then im sorry to say, but maybe its best to forget him.
He’s right.
And what if you did get with him and he disappointed you?
What if he wasn’t what you wanted after all?
Would you dump him?
Truth is he has already hurt you.
Dump him now.
Four years is a long time to ‘punish’ yourself. There is noone worth that. Still I know how difficult it is to stop obsessing over someone.
Being at the end of my life, as I am, I can look back to realise that obsessing over being with one particular person has caused me more grief than you can imagine.
There are many many possible partners who might be suitable to spend time with. Many people who could treat you well. Why would you want someone around who doesnt want to be there?
Hold yourself to a higher standard. If he does not see you as worth being with, then he is the one missing out.
Concentrate on yourself. If you strive to be an interesting happy worthwhile person and he still doesnt want to connect with you, then he not someone you need in your life. Decide to reject him.