Baby sister has been crying for the past hour, every time something happens, she cries. She’s the shrieking kind of crying, makes me wanna kill that piece of shit. Too bad I have “no balls”, nor to kill myself. So i hope I’m destined to do something. I have been angry for the past 3 days, ever since my little “date” with my cousin jasmine was canceled because her mom has no money.Â
I’m incredibly angry, stepdad brings the baby into the living room so it could cry in my fucking ear as I play video games (not intentionally) and I sit here holding my emotions muttering “shut the fuck up baby” every five minutes and my stepdad can’t speak english.Â
Probably some unknown force or deity is fucking with me, telling me everything I really truly love should be ripped out of my hands. Maybe Jasmine will die soon, because GOD hates incest unless it’s for the chosen ones for it. Probably trying to tell me I don’t deserve good things.Â
I went to the fair with my mom yesterday, with that fucking baby and my lil sister and it was fairly boring. I was tired and feeling sick thanks to my idiot brother following me around while he was sick. I fucking told him to leave me one. At least I got to try out electrical stimulation therapy, got an appointment at a private session for kickboxing tomorrow and for 2 weeks. Also I got 15 all day paintballing tickets. That was a good day but the fair was a joke especially since I really wanted to take my cousin there. The only thing I looked forward to. Last fucking chance. Take her paintballing, its free, and id it fucks up then I’m done with life. Done with happiness, not meant to be, or not deserving of good things. (I bet I sound fucking spoiled getting those things yet wanting my cousin) the thing is I would take my cousin over all those, I’m in love and if that means nothing that I have strong feelings for her just because its immoral or wrong or I’m a maturing teen without a fully matured brain is the cause for making it obsolete then fuck you too. Going to that kickboxing class tomorrow hopefully that will help my anger subside. You know whatll piss me off more, if your a “god loves you” fanatic especially if you tell me something similar to it
32 comments
So you didn’t get chance to eat out your cousin and she’s heading back to Chicago. Life sucks.
No I wasn’t trying for incest. I was hoping to spend time with her shithead.
Thats what I wanted to do my last wish. Instead shit fucks up and life is filled with disappointments. And I told you that I was feeling like a spoiled *****, but fine don’t take it into regard
Anyways eat her out at the fair? How the fuck do I do that, go on the chicago loop and spread her legs? Or a romantic stroll to the dirty portapotty?
No offense meant. Dude, you’ll get some. There are more fish in the sea besides her.
You were trying for incest by the way. She’s you COUSIN. You already knew this .
FYI – god doesn’t exist … which should be obvious since you demand the whole world should revolve around you … karma, on the other hand, has decided that the way you treat others doesn’t not warrant you a visit with your “beloved” cousin.
karma dawg
Incest is sex between two relatives right? And I really wasn’t I was hoping to make out with her on the ferris wheel and stuff
Rogue; Of all the girls in the world that you could go after….you’re gonna pursue somebody that you’re related too? C’mon, think about it… you wanna fuck somebody who’s got the same grandparents as you?
I hope she drinks pineapple juice before you eat her out.
Look, this is just my opinion, but I think this fantasy is all about your OCD and nothing to do with love. The way you obsess over incest speaks volumes over your feelings for her. You’ll learn about love later, but I don’t think this is it for you. Have fun kickboxing, sounds like you need to get the aggression out.
Well the. That brings me back to the suicide. Yeah I understand but remove that american dream bullshit being canceled out by debt slavery and what else is there following a dream thats your dream job and what if its in the army yet your whole family disapproves. There goes your family as a good thing, i’m pessimistic, im not trying to score with my cousin i do have my heart set on her. I appear to have cooled down, I do need to get laid but first get my isssues fixed (which prolongs my Problems). My mental processing of happiness fails horribly as I keep searching for complete happiness and can’t take bad news without getting angry since my lifes been filled with disappointment. My first and only girlfriend moved away so that was gay and I have another shot at love and it ultimately fails. (On a side note my eyes aren’t extremely sensitive, so that chili that got in my eye barely burns and light doesn’t hurt me very much.) i hate it when I’m angrybecause people dont see it my way, its understandable. Clear headed now, thanks I’ll go plan my suicide now.
Nickname: how’s that bad? How is that unappealing to you? Aside from being related and the 6% chance of retarded children, whats so disgusting about it?
One_day: i haven’t gone to a therapist for a diagnostic of any mental conditions or disorders since my dad thinks its not serious. Im not sure if I have OCD. I think I could possibly have it, also on a side note is anxiety over getting comments on my post a good or bad thing or neutral? So I guess you’re saying that I have never felt loce before. Thay I’m obsessed. Problem is my current state of mind makes me think that I need a purpose in life and love seems possible, keeps me going. I’m suiciding at the end of may when she leaves. I can’t take whatever I’m feeling very long. I can’t cope with shit.
Anyone read Catcher in the Rye? I feel like Holden Caulfield. He can’t live with orher people or even be near anyone or be alone because he can’t cope in society. He’s dysfunctional. I’m smart enough to reflect on myself and realize that I’m just like him. I feel uptight and angry since Nickname is telling me what I don’t want to hear (yet hes agressive about it) and so are you and I’m thinking”damn hes an idiot and a phony (reference to holden caulfield)”. I would think hes a phony because I keep thinking hes not really smart because we differ in opinion. I’m going to look through your eyes and see this love as lust as you must think it is right? So a mere kiss on the lips between her and i is somewhat all i ask and i can’t be granted that? Why the **** not?
Now I’m all fucking anxious and bent out of shape thanks to yu people. My muscles are tense, stomache in a knot, I’m shaking, heart rate is up. Ugh I hate it, anything that you can find in the fridge to cure my anxiety?
Rogue; You’re young and you’re not aware of how young you are. You have a lot of time to have adventures and live your life. She’s not “all that”. She’s just your current obsession. I’m trying not to judge you, just saying that you have plenty of time to branch out and make mistakes that won’t fuck up your family life as good as this will.
Live your life and do what you want but understand that you can’t take back what you do. This includes fucking your cousin.
Also is it OCD when you think you have a disease disorder that anyone else has just by reading, or think about it? Like I’m watchin monk and he has many fobias and he cant deal withthe. Anxiety and now I cant deal with it. My palms are sweaty.
I guess I’ve just been analysing language and words and their meanings my whole life, and I see a lot of indications what what you’re experiencing is obsession, not love. And I know that OCD often takes strange, non-tangible or conceptual forms. It’s not unreasonable to think that you could be obsessed by an idea or concept, but it does mean that it’s very hard to diagnose.
I’ve noticed you get anxiety if people don’t comment on your posts. I think this is also another aspect of your OCD. Putting emphasised amounts of importance on these small things… I guess it could also be about attention.
I understand about needing a reason to live, and love is a fine reason. But if you’re too busy obsessing over your cousin, you’ll miss the real thing when it passes by.
I’m sorry read CITR (Catcher in the Rye) and look at how Holden reacts to other people. I’m trying not to ***** out at you and Its giving me a fucking headache and writing words with great spelling is horrible on me too especially after eating a while back
I laughed a bit about how you noticed I get anxiety when people dont comment which merely addresses (trying to act smart -_- with big words) my. Crap what i said i forgot
Yeah and i could also miss it by suiciding because I end up drifting after not having a reason to live at one point. Yeah i’m sorry I over exaggerate my smallish problems. Theyre big to me, especially with the unecessary pressure I put on it. I just canMt cope with being alive. Maybe this is my epiphany that I don’t need to go insane to be in a mental wArd I just can’t cope with society. I keep making small problems bigger to propong action as much as possible. I’m goingto ask my dad to take me to a professional psychiatrist to diagnose me with whatever (hopefully I don’t prolong that for a while.) i might take the anxiety pills. Weed does wonders for me but I dint have a steady supply. Uh oh panic attack… Heavy breathing, need to cry.
if you really want to do it, I don’t know why you care so much about what we say – if you want it that bad, no one will stop you, we’re just trying to help you make an informed decision. Unless the whole point of posting here is because you want us to change your mind? no need to get so wound up.
Yeah, that disease thing is definately a sign of disorder or some kind…
I’ve read CITR and I think holden is not just disfunctional… it’s a kind of arrogance, to not be able to handle a different perspective… also a lack of empathy. He’s a sociopath. I don’t think you are. I gtg but b back later.
I just need to take losts of breathes of air. Goosebumps all over im close to teers. Goddamn it its exciting. Maybe i should stop breathing. I think im overanalyzing…
Actually i feel that i am like him except that whole perspective thing. Nickname wanna chat about this now? Whats your take, the panic attack past already it only gave me sniffles teary eyes and bad anxiety.
I was obsessed with Nycolle before as well. She is so perfect, the rejection brought me to a severe depression… I’m worried since i realized the truth. I’m onsessed with my cousin.
I guess I should let her down gently with the whole secret relationship thing then…
Incidentally, all modern race horses descend from the Godolphin Arabian, Darley Arabian and Briery Turk which is highly incestous. In fact dual classic winner Tiznow is one of the few to have the Godolphin Arabian in his sire line.
@ Rogue; You’re going to do whatever you want to do. I’m not going to preach. It’s your life bro. I think that you’re smart enough to understand the consequences of your actions.
Um I just broke it off with Jasmine. I feel like shit. Oanic attack and then break that news to her. She’d do anything for me and I led her on. Thanks I think I’ll get really bad depression now.
Nickname please listen to what I just wrote
@Rogue; You already knew that screwing your cousin was a litttle bit off. Nobody here told anything that you didn’t already know.
I just wasnt reflecting on what was said i didnt lusten im arrogant
in islam is not incest you can marry your cousin it is allow become muslim and all is fine