Reassurance

I feel really abandoned. This is related to events occurring months ago, but I feel a resurgence of the emotional pain. All my friends from college save two stopped talking to me about a month or so after I graduated in December. When friends leave I usually let that happen because I know friends come and go; however, I’m twenty-three with no current future plans, so these friends were my only social network. And they just stopped communicating with me. They moved on, so I can’t blame them specifically, yet it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m upset and alone. I’m really well-meaning, and interesting, and still people withdraw from me. I know it’s not there fault, and a lot of factors contribute to a friendship, but I try to keep my end of the friendship without ever pressuring or bothering anyone; these are the results?

Apologies, but after some thought it seems I do happen to have a more immediate reason for being upset. I have this day job that I hate only to come home to an emotionally-crippled mother, and not much else. I have so little to look forward to that I just want to curl up into a ball every night and cry, which I can’t do because my mom would hear me, start to cry, and then get very cross with me for not having my problems solved already (her way of expressing the embarrassment she feels at her own crying; I’m sure some members know what I’m talking about).

I go to work, I workout, and that is about it. I could really use some reassurance. Some human kindness and affection would help get me through my lonely day. Thank you.