to my best friend,
you don’t exist
i don’t have a best friend
they all disappeared when i needed them the most
what happened?
what did i do wrong,
other than f***ing myself up?
if i could change the problems i have
i would,
but i cant.
why did you leave me?
i wasn’t going to hurt you
i wasn’t going to hurt anyone,
except myself
i don’t want to be all alone
but because you left me i am
i know I’m a *****
but i didn’t mean to be that mean.
why wont you come back?
i didn’t mean to drive you away.
i have no one to tell my feelings to
because no one cares.
you were the only one
and you went away.
no one got me like you did
but you left me for others.
do you miss me?
we used to be really close
we told each other everything.
when we were friends i couldn’t imagine a day without hanging with you
but now i know how it feels.
why do i lose all my best friends?
since i was young
all my best friends disappeared.
no one stayed.
i am forever alone,
forever f***ed up,
forever sad.
why doesn’t anyone care?
no one asks if i hurt,
if I’m sad,
or just need to talk.
they think ignoring me
or putting pills into me
will make me better.
they are wrong.
i see through them,
they want me to go away,
my friends,
my family,
everyone.
why cant i just go away?