2 Years

I’ve started writing my long and confusing rambling dark thoughts down in a pretty little notebook instead of typing them and posting them here, for the time being. It seems that physically using a pen and paper is a better way to let some of the sadness out and clear my mind than typing is… it’s more ‘real’ in some ways, I suppose.
Anyway, I’ve decided to give myself 2 years until I make any big decisions. In the next 2 years I’m going to try and make my life worth living and worth seeing a future to. I want to somehow reach the stage where the thought of being much older than I am right now doesn’t terrify me or make me cringe. In these next 2 years, I’m going to see what I can do to make myself whole again.
…and if that doesn’t work, then once those 2 years are up, I will decide whether or not I want to truly end my life and plan how I’ll go about doing it.