A few things you should know about me Part 1

My life isn’t full of rainbow and fairies, instead it’s full of depression and pain. Ever since i started school from day 1 i was bullied, i was the punch line of every joke, and the last to be picked for sports. It got to the point where i’d walk around alone at lunch and watch everyone but me have fun. When i was 7 my parents decided to get a divorce. My parents went to court to fight for custody … of my sister and not for me, they didn’t care. My mum re-married to an abusive man who sexually and physically assulted me and my sister. when it happened to my sister everyone cared and became subject to her every whime, but when it happened to me no-one cared i was invisible, unimportant and the youngest. From there i developed an eating disorder, i ate what i felt and ate what i wished i had the courage to say. My step dad’s kids hated me and were discriminative against me because i was fat, because of all my emotional eating and so they excluded me and continually pointed out my faults and flaws and each time it was like a shot to the heart and a blow to the face. I told my mum but she didn’t care, all she cared about was her new husband. But i could always turn to my nan she understood and protected me, she was everything to me. And like every aspect of my life she was gone, no longer there to protect and comfort me. I felt more alone than ever and whats worse no-one understood, they all said “get over it you fucking *****”. So i buried my feelings and pretended as though i was ok when i wasn’t and people bought it so easily and they still do. In year 9 at school i had my whole year turn against me because of a rumor about something that i supposedly said, the rumor wasn’t true. but yet they still believed i was capable of suck cruetly. so they all ganged up on me and smashed a window right next to me and shattered my heart. i lost all faith and trust i had in my peers that day and still struggle to trust them and let anyone in.