The only silver lining was my BFF laura who was there for me and knew all of my sufferings and pain, she was who i confidended in when nan left. It felt like she’d stabbed me in the back from the front and left a wound so big and so deep that it still bleeds today. For 7 year we were everything to each other and in a matter of days she tossed me aside like an old rag. We went from being inseperable to seperable, we use to be able to tell each other everything and now we sit side by side and don’t say a word, I feel like I’m losing her and there’s nothing I can do. I fought for her and she didn’t fight back and that’s what hurt the most. I’d curled up in a corner with my doona and my photo album looking at what use to be hoping that it still was that way but it wasn’t I cried every night cried myself to sleep alone and afraid. Laura didn’t notice because she didn’t care. I may look tough on the outside, but I’m not, I’m just protective, protective of my heart because I don’t want my heart broken again. Out of all the people I didn’t think Laura would do this to me but I was wrong, so very wrong. Laura was the main reason why i started cutting and she doesn’t know it. I now have 7 scars on my wrist that constantly remind me of all my momentss of weakness and of the 7 months it took for a 7 year friendship to be completely destroyed. A year has passed and me and Laura have rebuilt our friendship but it’s not what it use to be and i don’t think it ever will be because mt guard is up and not letting anyone in. i can now say that i have serious trust issues because of Laura. i still care for her and will protect her but i’m not sure that she would do the same. to me no-one will replace her and the vital part she played in my life but apparently to her me and my part in her life are replaceble.
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Hey, that is a lot to take in. It sounds like you have had a ***** of a time and have had to grow up quick and cope more or less alone. I am sorry for your experiences, no-one deserves to be attacked and bullied and left alone like you have.
I think it is good that you are writing and in a forum like this no one will judge you no matter what you write.
I wish that there was something magical I could do to fix your problems but there simply is not so I can sympathise and say that things will change, time changes everything and you just have to survive and it will be different again.
I can also say that safety is paramount. IT is so important that you need to find it and hang on to it. One you are in a safe place then you can start to deal with shit that has gone on in your life.
It is hard to come back after such problems and trusting is very difficult – I still struggle with it. I don’t know how to trust and if anyone is worthy of the trust that is needed to heal someone. But I do know that there are people on this site who feel like you do and who understand.
Thank-you so much. i’m new to this site only joined yesterday and i find all the sympathy and support that the people give and recieve overwhelming, i’ve never experienced this kind of suppport before. Thank-you.
I’ve had loads of friends like this, only advice i can offer is don’t get to attached to friends until you’ve seen their true colours. Just because a friend gets a partner doesn’t give them a right to drop you. I’ll also tell you now, when they’ve finished or when they fight, she’ll come running right back to you but don’t let that fool you either, because they’ll make up and she’ll drop you again.
I just got rid of any friends that wern’t true friends, users and kept them gems, because you’ll only prolong your pain by holding onto them.
You’ll find a true friend in time, I have and i’m happy I let the others go, don’t worry hun
Thanx. i know thats what i have to do but me and Laura were friends since primary school, seven years. Its hard because she still comes to me for help and if i turn away i’m doing the exact same thing she did to me and i don’t like to see her hurt because for seven years i protected her from being bullied because she was my friend. I don’t think i’ll ever fully let her go. I only wanted her to fight for me.
I know it’s hard, i’d known my best friend since we were 3 we stopped speaking about 2 years ago now. Everyone was telling me to just leave her but I couldn’t until one day I just snapped out of it and thought “Am I a fucking tit?”. She stole all my smokes, lent money she’d never pay back, stretch all of my clothes and shoes, drink all my ale and smoke all my weed, ate all my food, stayed over for days on end without going home, sat up with her all night when she was crying, held her hair when she was sick, I was always there for her. Where was she when i felt like shit, when I was sat in on my own? With the boyfriend she’d slag off to me, then fuck me off for.
Trust me the best thing you can do is let people like that go because they won’t realize how horrible they seem until everyone they’ve used has left them.
k i’ll try. Thank-you for your help. I’m sorry for what your friend did to you, you didn’t and don’t deserve that.
I know, and neither do you, hope you benefit from the decisions you make from here.
You too, Thanx. 🙂