I honestly haven’t post on this website in months. o 3o Hi old and new people and if any case i am still suicidal and it has increase to the point where i have thoughts about me hanging myself. Sounds amazing right. c:
@ The Absurdist: Like every day alone with my thoughts
@One_day: I also remember you. And ugh it does sound painful but i will not be using a rope cause i don’t have any. It will either be an extension cord or my old bed sheets. But my thoughts lean towards the bed sheets though.
No improvement what so ever. It increase from time to time. Never got help. Never ask for help. I pretty much lost a few friends. Its summer and so far i don’t even know if its worth living till school starts. I do have a boyfriend but he haven’t talk to me for nine days :L.
xD. I refuse help. I know i need help. I bet if i told people how i feel they would tell me i need help, but i don’t want help. I don’t want some random stranger judging my ever words and telling oh it gets better or its just a phase or even it just takes time. I don’t need lies telling me i’m a fuck up. I guess i lost friend from either me not talking to them or them not talking to me or we just lost contact with each other. Even when they say they were gonna start talking to me more often that was more than a month ago that they said that and haven’t heard from them since. It has been a boring summer for me. I never did hang out with my friends. even when we were still in school i never hang out with them outside of school. Just hearing them having a great summer makes me feel even more lonier and has increase my thoughts in suicide. Also don’t know why my boyfriend haven’t talk to me in nine days. I do not blame him though i wouldn’t wanna talk to me either. Lol sorry if this is too long to read. Also been struggling with my weight too n. n.
“I don’t need lies telling me I’m a fuck up” , good 🙂 .
Try to keep some perspective there. If your so called friends don’t make an effort to even talk to you, how are they your friends. Don’t be jealous of people you don’t even really want to be with having a “great summer”.
Ok, your boyfriend thing is more serious, can’t you call him?
Don’t worry about your weight, at your age you still have the metabolism of a hummingbird.
You should think about why you’re bored? Why don’t you feel compelled to create or just stand in awe of you breathing, your senses, the spidery movement of your fingers against the backdrop of blue skies. This is a problem everyone has, they just fill their time with “fun”.
Still I think you should get a pet like this meanwhile ->
“Dear Sam
I live with a grey-breasted hill partridge. His name is Peligro. Peligro’s unique talent is that he knows when things should stop. When I’ve listened to too much music, read too much, not done enough exercise, eaten enough, planned enough or got to the point of a drawing where another stroke would ruin it, he gently pecks my ankle and looks up at me. This morning I was sitting quietly and started worrying about the future. Peligro came up to me and smashed me round the head with a cricket bat.
All the best, and a healthy portion of the worst,
Bellamy Gurdlefeck”
Sorry if I ramble. Be strong and take care of yourself. It’d be a tragedy if you were to gooo, I don’t remember you for nothing eh? 😉
Still anorexic?
sounds like control issues… you don’t want to get help because you want to keep control… but councillors are actually valueable BECAUSE they are strangers, they give us that external opinion. And personally I think the benefit with councillors is that they are really just there to listen… they don’t always have to tell you what to do, and you don’t always have to listen. I have a friend who’s been seeing a councillor for 20 years. She’s not suicidal or anything, she just says “Its just really nice to get to talk about ME for and hour and unload all of MY baggage without having to feel bad that I’m doing it to my friends”. So maybe just see it as someone to talk to, rather than someoen to advise you.
Anyway, I gotta go but think about it you know?
lolz thank you. You are pretty much one of the only people who even made an effort to talk to me like this and i greatly appericate it. Oh and for the boyfriend thing i do make and effort to talk to him but like five minutes later he takes awhile to reply till it gets to the point he stops talking to me. I would be even lucky to hear from him that one week though. o:
@One_day: I wouldn’t bare consider myself anorexic. I could do anyting to lose weight and i still won;t be sastife by it. Although i do skip meals every day. I never eat breakfast and i sometimes skip dinner. I would even eat a small serving and i would be the first one done. But now i am trying to do it the healthy way and it does show some improvement though. C: Thank you for the councling advice n. n. Maybe one day i might try doing that.
16 comments
Heya, I remember you (I think). Glad you’re still among the living. Hanging’s not a good method thought, really isnt.
Eeh there really isn’t a good method at all. But its probably what i end up doing hanging out my window with torn up old sheets.
@The Absurdist i think i do remember you though O:. I wouldn’t be too surprise if anyone remembers me.
So what’s up
I rememember you both. Don’t hang yourself. ropeburn…
@ The Absurdist: Like every day alone with my thoughts
@One_day: I also remember you. And ugh it does sound painful but i will not be using a rope cause i don’t have any. It will either be an extension cord or my old bed sheets. But my thoughts lean towards the bed sheets though.
What happened? If you were away one assumes it meant improvement on some level?
No improvement what so ever. It increase from time to time. Never got help. Never ask for help. I pretty much lost a few friends. Its summer and so far i don’t even know if its worth living till school starts. I do have a boyfriend but he haven’t talk to me for nine days :L.
Why?
why what O:.
Why any of those sentences, was supposed to probe what was foremost in your mind but it didn’t work. 😛
But come on, do tell.
xD. I refuse help. I know i need help. I bet if i told people how i feel they would tell me i need help, but i don’t want help. I don’t want some random stranger judging my ever words and telling oh it gets better or its just a phase or even it just takes time. I don’t need lies telling me i’m a fuck up. I guess i lost friend from either me not talking to them or them not talking to me or we just lost contact with each other. Even when they say they were gonna start talking to me more often that was more than a month ago that they said that and haven’t heard from them since. It has been a boring summer for me. I never did hang out with my friends. even when we were still in school i never hang out with them outside of school. Just hearing them having a great summer makes me feel even more lonier and has increase my thoughts in suicide. Also don’t know why my boyfriend haven’t talk to me in nine days. I do not blame him though i wouldn’t wanna talk to me either. Lol sorry if this is too long to read. Also been struggling with my weight too n. n.
“I don’t need lies telling me I’m a fuck up” , good 🙂 .
Try to keep some perspective there. If your so called friends don’t make an effort to even talk to you, how are they your friends. Don’t be jealous of people you don’t even really want to be with having a “great summer”.
Ok, your boyfriend thing is more serious, can’t you call him?
Don’t worry about your weight, at your age you still have the metabolism of a hummingbird.
You should think about why you’re bored? Why don’t you feel compelled to create or just stand in awe of you breathing, your senses, the spidery movement of your fingers against the backdrop of blue skies. This is a problem everyone has, they just fill their time with “fun”.
Still I think you should get a pet like this meanwhile ->
“Dear Sam
I live with a grey-breasted hill partridge. His name is Peligro. Peligro’s unique talent is that he knows when things should stop. When I’ve listened to too much music, read too much, not done enough exercise, eaten enough, planned enough or got to the point of a drawing where another stroke would ruin it, he gently pecks my ankle and looks up at me. This morning I was sitting quietly and started worrying about the future. Peligro came up to me and smashed me round the head with a cricket bat.
All the best, and a healthy portion of the worst,
Bellamy Gurdlefeck”
Sorry if I ramble. Be strong and take care of yourself. It’d be a tragedy if you were to gooo, I don’t remember you for nothing eh? 😉
Still anorexic?
sounds like control issues… you don’t want to get help because you want to keep control… but councillors are actually valueable BECAUSE they are strangers, they give us that external opinion. And personally I think the benefit with councillors is that they are really just there to listen… they don’t always have to tell you what to do, and you don’t always have to listen. I have a friend who’s been seeing a councillor for 20 years. She’s not suicidal or anything, she just says “Its just really nice to get to talk about ME for and hour and unload all of MY baggage without having to feel bad that I’m doing it to my friends”. So maybe just see it as someone to talk to, rather than someoen to advise you.
Anyway, I gotta go but think about it you know?
lolz thank you. You are pretty much one of the only people who even made an effort to talk to me like this and i greatly appericate it. Oh and for the boyfriend thing i do make and effort to talk to him but like five minutes later he takes awhile to reply till it gets to the point he stops talking to me. I would be even lucky to hear from him that one week though. o:
@One_day: I wouldn’t bare consider myself anorexic. I could do anyting to lose weight and i still won;t be sastife by it. Although i do skip meals every day. I never eat breakfast and i sometimes skip dinner. I would even eat a small serving and i would be the first one done. But now i am trying to do it the healthy way and it does show some improvement though. C: Thank you for the councling advice n. n. Maybe one day i might try doing that.