Well, the title says it all.
The pain is becoming unbearable.
They say that people who try to kill themselves are “selfish” and that they don’t think about the others they’ll leave behind.
But have they ever thought how is a suicidal person really feeling?
Of course they haven’t.
The feeling inside my head is starting to become physical.
It’s sort of like nasal congestion.
When you have it, you can’t breathe.
So you either try clearing your nose, or you breathe through your mouth.
But I have the SAME FUCKING FEELING INSIDE MY HEAD!
I’m literally unable to think, speak or feel anymore.
I haven’t really talked with anyone for months.
That’s probably the main cause.
I used to have a best friend.
Suddenly, he stopped talking with me because of some trivial bullshit.
I haven’t heard from him ever since.
There is absolutely no love in my life.
And I’m not talking about “having a girlfriend”/romantic type of love.
I’m talking about absolutely no love at all.
No friends, nothing.
Zero.
None.
A week ago, I met a really cute girl.
We talked about random stuff for hours.
Laughed.
Held hands.
Then her boyfriend arrived and they started making out.
I left.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!
I just want someone to talk with…
Sorry if this post is a bit messed up, but I’ve just written down all my thoughts and feelings the way they really are.
У пичку лепу материну…
4 comments
I have been your are now, it is not a nice place.
When i got addicted to drugs after my GF died i drove the world away and became homeless and OD three times.
I burned every bridge in my life, that was over seven years ago, my family still does not speak to me. They dont even know if im alive or dead.
I havent seen any of my old friends in just as long.
For alone time
i
was
alone…. Truly
But that was then, and this is now.
I now have a fiance and a nice soon to be step son.
I am clean, have been for 5 years.
The world is different now.
I hope you keep fighting, Life is a journey, where it goes is up to you.
regards
Unique
Hi Anon, I hope writing down your thoughts helped clear your head somewhat. i know myself reading and writing can be my best friend when i’m along. I tend to do that only when i’m along. I know how your head can feel all plugged up like it’s ready to explode and i dont mean headache explode. Thats why i write so much. Keep writing down your thoughts, if i notice them i’ll generally say something to every post i read. Love isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. relationship love or otherwise. I’ve learned the more people you let in the more people you get hurt by. Like an old guy told me when i was a kid “the only people that will hurt you are the people you let get close” and it’s so true. I’ve tried to limit the people i’ve let get close but the ones that have seem like i get hurt one way or another. As for the girl you were talking about, sorry to hear that but i’ve come to realize that woman/girls like that aren’t worth your time. I mean i’ve only been in long term relationships, 2 to be exact. one almost nine years and the other going on 4 which i’m in now, sort of. thats a different story for another time. All i can say is stay strong, think positive and hold your head high. Done let anybody bring you down. be yourself, thats all anybody can ask. Think back to the last time something made you happy and build off of it from there. Take care.
LB
“But have they ever thought how is a suicidal person really feeling? – Of course they haven’t.” – So true. And usually to add to the insult they usually say something that makes you feel even worse like “Get over it” or “I know what you’re feeling, but it gets better”, and I just think you haven’t lived my life and you aren’t me, so quit saying crap that doesn’t help in any way at all. And if they don’t do that they may ignore you completely making your feelings even worse, it’s just so damn illogical…
I’m with you there. like i was told when i was a kid “You dont understand how they are becaues you are not like them” same goes for the way we feel. they dont understand, they pretend to. Unless they go through how we truly feel they never will understand. I truly believe that. Keep posting on here whatever you like. You’ll never be judged by any of it. We are here to help each other, bring each other up. even if it’s just a wee little bit.
LB