its so hard…..

No one can see past a fake smile I’ve noticed, for some reason a fake smile is just as fricken legit as a real one.. Cause no one knows until we are gone how truly sad and fucked up we were. Well not fucked up but we are not happy like the fake smile shows. Inside we are dying. I am bi sexual and have dealt with people judging me for what I am since I was 13 and knew I didn’t just like guys. People called me a freak and a lesbian and many girls I became friends with thought I was Finns try to get with them. And it wasn’t like that for me, ya sure maybe I thought you were gorgeous but you have to have a fucking heart and same interest towards me to have me give it a thought. I’ve cone torealize people will judge everything you do and everything about you till the day we all die. Some don’t realize they are causing it to happen sooner than most. I used to also cut really bad , and sometimes I still do. I think about it almost everyday but then I don’t want to hide the scars cause no matter where I put them if someone at work or home doesnt see them I know my loved one will, and he’s already seen a few and asked questions, I don’t need him to realize I’m fucking nuts and leave so I lie and say oh that’s nothing. When no.. It’s really everything. The people who are happy inside will never understand the people dying inside.. It’s to hard for them to grasp they think it’ll get Better one day but in reality it just gets worse. At least so far it has.