when i was 8, i was sexually abused. my mom was an alcoholic almost my whole life, my dad abanded me when i was so young, came back around in my life when i was 15 and choose his new family over his kids. my “best friends” put my secrets all overs facebook to use it against me when we got into a fight. we made up, but i havent fully forgaven them because i have horrible trust issues. im in love with my best friend, and we almost were togetherÂ BUT of courseÂ she found someone better. my whole life ive been made fun of for my weight, or not being the prettiest girl in my grade, or how i was going to grow up to be a lesbian. guess what, i am one. and everyone makes me feel like shit for it. my mom is always to busy with my baby sister to notice my cutting, it always gets worse. i try to quit, by i can never do it. everything just overwhelms me, my anxiety of being screwed over is ridiculous. i dont trust anyone. and i never will. noone cares enough to see my fake ass smile everyday, so i must not be important, huh? i just want someone to understand me.. for once. :/
Though i cannot say i properly understand what you’re going through, i do know what it feels like to be hurt, scared, alone, lost and without any hope. So if there is anything you’d like to say or share, you can share it with me, i’ll be your friend. I’m a 17 year old male, living in Australia, and my email address is firstname.lastname@example.org – to me, everyone is a friend. It’s just how i like to look at the world.
I wish you all the best for the future 🙂
No one can see past a fake smile I’ve noticed, for some reason a fake smile is just as fricken legit as a real one.. Cause no one knows until we are gone how truly sad and fucked up we were. Well not fucked up but we are not happy like the fake smile shows. Inside we are dying. I am bi sexual and have dealt with people judging me for what I am since I was 13 and knew I didn’t just like guys. People called me a freak and a lesbian and many girls I became friends with thought I was Finns try to get with them. And it wasn’t like that for me, ya sure maybe I thought you were gorgeous but you have to have a fucking heart and same interest towards me to have me give it a thought. I’ve cone torealize people will judge everything you do and everything about you till the day we all die. Some don’t realize they are causing it to happen sooner than most. I used to also cut really bad , and sometimes I still do. I think about it almost everyday but then I don’t want to hide the scars cause no matter where I put them if someone at work or home doesnt see them I know my loved one will, and he’s already seen a few and asked questions, I don’t need him to realize I’m fucking nuts and leave so I lie and say oh that’s nothing. When no.. It’s really everything. The people who are happy inside will never understand the people dying inside.. It’s to hard for them to grasp they think it’ll get Better one day but in reality it just gets worse. At least so far it has.
yeah, i told my best friend i am and we became distant ever since.. :/
idk why everything hass to be so hard.
Its just a fucked up world
yeah your telling me. i hate this shit.