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Looking For Happiness

by fallenangel1221

Hey guys,I haven’t really been this open about my problems,but I feel like I need to find emotional support.Here’s what’s going on:First of all,there was this guy that I really cared about.We dated a little over a month.When we first talked,I actually thought that he was such a good guy when I didn’t even know that it was an act.Anyway,around the last part of the month,he didn’t see me for two whole weeks when he usually stops by every week.He told me one night that he was done looking for someone because he found me.So,I gave him the benefit of a doubt that he was actually working late like he said he was.Then,the day when he came by,I thought that we were going to work out the problems we were having.I was wrong:he broke up with me.He wanted us to be “friends” for now,but some friend he was.He didn’t even bother to be there for me when I needed him.He didn’t make an attempt to go to my graduation.He even lied saying that he was in another state the past week.Funny thing was the day of my graduation,we passed by his work place.He was there.We got into two bad arguments.We’re not speaking anymore.What really bothers me was that I was really into him and for him to treat me like that,made me feel worthless to him.It hurts when he’s in my dreams because that tells me that I still care about him.Now,I feel like I’m done with love and no other guy would ever care about me.I can’t feel happy anymore after what happened.I strongly have this urge to either strangle myself or stab myself in the heart.I just want this pain to be over.Please,help me.

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10 comments

Lasting World of Grief 6/24/2012 - 10:03 pm

I’m torn up over the loss of a love, hence my nickname.

But I just got to tell you there are better guys than him out there. More honest ones.

Oh, sure, lots of liars, and even some violent sorts, and whatnot. But if you think he’s the best, he’s not.

At the very least, the woman I ended up getting all emotionally messed up over was a more decent woman than average, so when it ended after 6 years, I was sad, and when she promised me lifelong friendship and our friendship ended a year later, I was devastated. So I really do think I have felt some of the same emotions you have gone through up to and including the desire to kill my heart, the source of so much pain. And I still might.

All I can say is that are you sure *this* guy is worth all that? Maybe you should date some more guys, and if you’re going to get all permanently heartbroken over someone, at least make it over someone worthwhile. I’ve known hookers with more class than your ex had.

So date a bit, go through some of the flakes (like your ex), and find someone decent to love.

fallenangel1221 6/24/2012 - 10:07 pm

I’m sorry =( I’m slowly trying to get back to dating.It’s just hard to put yourself back out there after you’ve been hurt a few times.He wasn’t the first that broke my heart,but so far,it hurts the worst.

Lasting World of Grief 6/24/2012 - 10:18 pm

I understand since I’ve been through that, having had my heart hurt several times and then having it hurt very greatly.

But … there were moments of joy too. Perhaps not all is loss and you can experience some joy and love and pleasure in your life in the future.

Either way, you have my empathy. I really do get it as much as a stranger, a man at that, can get it.

fallenangel1221 6/24/2012 - 10:24 pm

thanks for your advice.i do cherish the memories i had with my ex.that’s what makes it the hardest.i’ll probably be better in the future,but at this moment,you can’t even think about tomorrow.i will however try to keep living my life.

Lasting World of Grief 6/24/2012 - 10:29 pm

“thanks for your advice.i do cherish the memories i had with my ex.that’s what makes it the hardest.”

Oh, I know. I truly do. The best moments of my life were with her and I wake up dreaming about her, and then realize she’s gone. It sucks.

I wish I could give you a hug. And not only for your sake either.

darkwillow 6/25/2012 - 12:19 am

I’m sorry Kenzie. I know how much pain you must be in. Try to be careful next time

fallenangel1221 6/25/2012 - 1:18 pm

it’s okay and btw,my name isn’t Kenzie

darkwillow 6/25/2012 - 4:14 pm

It’s not Kenzie?

darkwillow 6/25/2012 - 4:17 pm

Sorry Nevermind wrong post. Not all guys are bad though. There are some nice people out there. Just be a little more careful and listen to happy music 🙂 do things that make you happy

fallenangel1221 6/25/2012 - 5:58 pm

it’s okay lol thanks

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