When I was a little girl, I knew nothing of the word ‘ hate ‘ . I knew no sadness, I was so carefree, I did what I could to make others pleased. I was blind to what my brother was doing to me , blind to see that it wasn’t my fault. After I walked in on my first brother shooting him self in the head , my sweet careless brother
. I noticed my second brother had changed toward me , I noticed he was more hostile. He beat me every night , he kicked my ribs till’ I heard them crack. He spat on me , punched me. Beat me with any object around. I lied to my parents for him , saying how clumsy I was. I grew up to think I wasn’t good enough , I grew up to think my beatings were deserved. I remember when I sat up in my bed , wondering what I did wrong . I remember I would Fit my hands over my five year old neck , an choke myself till’ I passed out . I remember the rape I went through , the pain. I remember it all. I remember growing up still thinking I wasnt good enough , it got worse over the years . I started to cut deeper , I started to hang myself . I just wanted out . I now recently found someone to make me feel like I’m worth it . It’s been over 9 months since I’ve last tried to kill myself . Im only 15 , but I know that NO MATTER what is going on in your life . There is always a good thing to come out in the end . <3
Please stay strong.
2 comments
🙁 This made me cry. I am so sorry that this has been your life story and I’m so happy that you have found happiness in your life. It gives me hope. I to was sexually abused for my entire childhood (4 to 13). I still suffer from it and have only recently begun to seek help. Sometimes I feel like its pointless because I’m in my twenties and that I’ll never get better but your post made me feel a little stronger. Thank you for sharing and I honestly hope that your life continues to improve and that everything is wonderful for you. Good luck and thank you again.
You’re very welcome . I hope you find closure in your self too . <3