So sick of hiding

I go to my room when I’m anxious. Whenever people are around, I get anxious…I worry they hate me, that they’re constantly judging me. I love my boyfriend, and he’s trying to understand, but he just won’t stop being mean to me. I can’t take criticism. He’s so sick of it. I’m worried he’s about to give up on me. I just want to die, but no one would be able to take care of him if I weren’t around. Codependency? I just want to escape my body. I feel so worthless. I feel subhuman…or if not, I feel like an invisible alien looking down at the train wreck that is my life.