Still alive after 2 attemts of suicide

I can count it even 3 if the flat tire would not have happen. Today was the most serious attempt of them all, before i just attached the rope on the tree and put the knot over my neck, but today i jumped and stroke the ground. 2 of the branches broke and i was up on my toes with failed attempt. Then i tried to put the rope higher and i failed again because some mother f***er drove on the road with his dirt bike and i had to came down and drive away because i think he had called me cops or something. Why i am still alive, why????????????