I’ve had a couple of moments in  my life, one was just a couple of minutes ago. The ceiling in my bathroom was falling (my house is going under construction) and I didn’t move, I just stood there and watched as everything came crumbling down. A part of me was hoping the whole thing would come down on top of me, so at least I wouldn’t have to do it. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, one time I was swimming and just for a second I thought I could stop swimming and everyone would just think it was just this accident, and I did. I stopped swimming and for a couple of minutes after everything faded away my mind was at peace. of course I was saved. everyone thought it was a miracle. well back to me standing in my bathroom, once again I was yanked away from my demise. Why cant I be happy? What is wrong with me? this depression thing isn’t easy. I want to live, my personality wants to go out and have a good time and then theres this other voice in my head that creeps in and steals me away from reality convincing me death is what i want. I sound crazy. Maybe I am….
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Not crazy at all! I have the same feelings! Its like the good angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other shoulder. One voice is telling you, you can pull through you don’t really want to die. The the “devil” voice is telling you, your worthless, a piece of shit, miserable, you don’t deserve to live, your depression is too great to go on n shit. So I defiantly get it. I came very close to hanging my self the other day, I had one foot off the computer chair I started to slide it away and I heard a voice, a mental voice, my own voice in my head telling me to give it one more try. So that combined with the fear of the painful excruciating slow death that was about to occur stopped me. I’m not sure how I feel about being here still. Its mixed feelings but I think I am actually happy to be alive.
Yeah, it’s weird. my life in general isn’t great, but even when the day is going “Okay” there that voice goes telling me to just jump. I wish it would shut up. because I believe I do want to live, of course I want to have a better life, but none the less i want to live…i think. :/ depression is so confusing.
Yall are saying exactly how i feel. Does depression ever go away for good? Im sick of dealing with these thoughts, these attacks? I want out, one way or the other.
I actually can’t answer that for you. its sad cause I wish I could. I mean I’ve never actually tried going to a psychiatrist, i’ve never been given any drugs for my feelings. And I don’t know if there is a drug that can stop us from having these thoughts. I wish there was. as for it going away on its own, i would like to hope that when life gets better it would just dwindle away, but whats the chances of that happening.
jack what is the perfect life on earth for u, you CAN have it, u want to LIVE and be happy and enjoy everything and every1 that loves u, u are confused at times but strong enough to overcome any obsticle
dont ever give up, life is a struggle, us ppl who support u no its hard
You are not crazy. I feel the same and it really sucks
Hey
i have had the same feelings…. N it kept repeating… It felt like HELL.
There are some medicines for repeated thoughts n stuff. You should consult a psychiatrist.. More than the medicines, what can really help is diverting your mind. Do something yu like… Initially yu wont feel like doing it… But then just do it.. Slowly just absorb in the happiness in life.. The little joyful moments. If yu dont have any, create them. If yu need someone to help yu out, or yu wanna talk this out, im there for yu.. N im sure yu will be out of this soon.. N just hang in ther buddy!!!
Your not crazy mate. I can totally relate to how you feel. Depression is a horrible thing. Don’t give up hope. You need to work out what you want in life, in the here and now. Don’t worry about the future.. You may find it easier to try and summarize what you want in life now for the next couple of months. Baby steps man.. Baby steps.