We have all seen the “goodbye” posts here.  Mine is gonna be a bit different.
Yesterday, my therapist basically told me that she can no longer see me until I become more stabile.  She thinks I need “in-patient care”.  I really do not want that.  My wife (who has recently become aware of my issues) has been amazingly supportive.  She says she still thinks meds and a pychiologist that comes highly recommended (without being locked up in the nut house) is how we should proceed.
Ya, it does scare the crap out of me.  But, I have done a number of legit suicide attempts.  And just last week I was 100% ready to try again but wierd circumstances prevented me (not going into details).  So, I guess what I am saying is – I was willing to jump into death.  Maybe it is time I have the gonads to jump feet first into TREATMENT.
So, I am going to do the treatment.  And if this doesnt work – then I am headed to the nut house (as I call it) for in-patient care. Â
I will NOT be back on this board – as I find it kinda scary how my mind deals with everyones issues.  I wish you all the best.  Â
God Bless you all!  Goodbye.  Signed – one guy who MADE IT