I am still here. I have released this negative energy from me, for now. I still have my hiccups, and that’s normal. I’ve meditated and asked for love to fill my heart. I’ve asked for my heart to relinquish all forms of hate, guilt, and envy; because I have no room for those things. Most of all, I have begun to forgive myself for the loss of a dear friend. We all need ourselves to heal emotionally and spiritually. I have a dream of healing others…I want to save as many people as I can and pay my respects to those I could not…This is what gives me hope: One day, I will help the hungry, the sick, the abandoned, and distraught. As a nurse, I will do my best to be a physical healer and a spiritual healer. I cannot die just yet. I cannot committ suicide. If I do, then I will never meet all these wonderful faces and experience the bonds I would have had with them. This is what keeps me strong: hope. I have hope because I love still…even as I hold a gun to my head. Even if I hold a knife to my neck, or scratch my skin off, or burn or mutilate myself…I still have hope. I have been blessed and cursed with the heart of an empath. I will be here to give as many of you my unconditional love if you ask. This is a typed reminder.