I run to this like it’ll truly make things better. but really this is just an escape for a few minutes. i didnt even have to wait a whole day today to come back on here. it was made simple for me earlier today. things got turned upside down again. and again…and again. endure the wrath or change. 2 results. 1 has already been given, but yet satisfaction has not been reached. so you’ll keep burning me. until all my flesh has turned to ashes. and theres nothing left to burn. it is admirable to stand by someone who chooses to burn you. im not doing it for the titles, im doing it so when  im gone. you will realize how honest i was. how pure i was. hw all i every wanted was one thing.
I NEED HELP- i need someone to reply back asap. my date has moved up. i dont want to wait much longer. instead of months i want this over with by july 21st. please i dont want help to change, i want help with my decision. for his sake, i dont want to do something dramatic or brutal i want him to think i fell asleep. and didnt wake up. Im praying everyday for allah to not let me wake up the next morning or to have a bus or car kill me. anything so i dont have to do it myself. but this is what is has come to.
2 comments
I know how you feel to pray to God every night to just take all the pain away, trust me. I know right now it feels like you have nothing and that this is all your life will ever be but it’s not. Things do change but that change has to start with you. You need to find something to hold onto, that tiny shimmer of hope and don’t let it go no matter what. You can do it, you really can. Suicide is not the answer and it never will be. Just think of how much of an inspiration you will be by just sticking around, by setting you mind in the tone to get better. You can do it, your life is worth living. You have so much potential and you are loved. I know that you might not feel that way but you are. You are loved by those in your family, in your friends and from us. We admire your courage and we try to help as best as we can by listening. You are not alone so don’t ever feel like you are. Things may suck right now but there is always a rainbow after a storm. The storm wont last forever. You will see the sunshine. Don’t give in to these thoughts, fight them. Fight hard and claim back your life. It’ll be worth it, I can promise you that.
Suicide is not ever the answer for anyone, no matter how bad thier situation is. Allah swt has a plan for you..I thought bout suicide before but it got better. It does always. Plz email me if you want to talk. Joelle.mcknight04@gmail.com. Im here for you