Over a year a go, I went to a doctor just to talk to someone. I was just having one of those of days, that was all. I was never depressed. Anyway, she gave me these tablets that were citalopram without explaining what they were, how long I should take them for or when it would be reviewed. She didn’t even explain why she thought I should be on them in the first place. All she said was if it was me, i would take them. I had been taking these tablets from October 2010-November 2011 without knowing what they were. This was a trainee doctor. I gave my trust in her. Who does that to a paient, without informing what they are and what the side affects may cause before taking them. Then i went to another gp to ask for beta blockers to help calm my nerves, as I was doing a test at the time. But she told me that i couldn’t because of my asthma. Then she told me that she was going to give me another lot of tablets, without explaining why. Then I saw another gp and he gave me another lot of tablets. None of them had told me that these were antidepressants. Who gives a patient antidepressants, knowing that they weren’t depressed at all.
This is when I became ill. I had been given these tablets for no reason at all. Doctors just hand them out like smarties. They didn’t seem to of realised that i was having side affects to all of these tablets. This doctor referred me to see someone else who asks me if i wanted a bed, i thought it might of been a rehab or on a general ward. Instead, they never explained to me that I was going into a mental hospital. If they had only told me, i would of asked for help at home. They didn’t even realise either that my body couldn’t tolerate these tablets or even realising i was having possible side effects. It was only when I left they hospital, i realised what they were. Who in there right mind gives someone who doesn’t appear to be suffering from depression antidepressants. Without explaining why! Because of what these doctors have done to me I have not been well for eight months now. This time last year, I was a normal, clever, happy person. Now i can’t remember one day to the next, let alone not even being able to remember any of my family members. I don’t even know the type of person i used to be. When i am watching tv, i can’t even understand what I am watching, let alone not being able to silent read. They say it’s your illness that is blocking my memory. I don’t believe them. I don’t care what they say I am not depressed, i am just frustrated by the whole situation. Before you lot have the nerve to judge me by saying you have everything to live for or you need to speak to someone. Well i have, but know one bloody believes me. This is not a life, i can’t bare to live like this for one more day. The problem is that I want to die as soon as possible, ideally before tomorrow, but i have limited resources as my family keeps watching my every move 24/7. I have the right to die, I’d rather my organs go to someone that deserves to live. People should not be criterzied for wanting to end their lives. Please don’t anyone have the nerve to judge me, when you are not going thorough, what i am having to, day after day. I just want to die, I have the right not to suffer like this anymore. So, can someone give me some proper advise on how to end my life. I can’t let my family suffer any more then they have been. Don’t you lot also say, what this might to to them if i do this. i cannot go on suffering like this for one more day. Please someone reply back to this on how i can end my life.