already forgotten

when i see people sad and depressed on here it makes me sad and depressed. i decided im not going to write one note but a to couple people i actually love. one of the only things that makes me not want to get hit by that train, hang myself, blow my brains out. is the few people have been saving me all of this time. one of my best friends has been in boot camp. i dont want him to find out. i hope by the time he comes back everyone will have forgotton me, he will have forgotton me. i never go through with this. but i know how badly i need it. im so broken, people never listen no matter what. people on here do. so im sorry to all of you reading this, i hope you will all survive until nature makes your pain stop. i’ve never really beleived in religion or anything. but if i get there to “god” i’ll ask him why he does this. for all of you. if he’s there i’ll do anything to make all your pain stop. its not okay anymore. nothings okay. i love all of you, even the people that hate me. i love everyone. right now im not even feeling a saddness but i feel releived so it has to be done.