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Important Discovery

by fromthisheight

I know a lot of people have issues against drugs, and especially illegal ones at that. However, the simple fact is without drugs we would be less of a productive society, but it depends on the drug of course; some drugs make our society worse.  We know what they are, but I think we all can agree that some drugs have important application.  If you’ve ever been suicidal (who hasn’t?), we know that something causes this reaction in our mind to give up.  It’s due to ourselves unequipped to deal with the pain or failing to find the answers that got us to this point.  However, we know what those answers are, but they’re locked away in a maze of memories that we seemly cannot access.  Recently, I’ve found a way to dabble into that memory bank and release a significant amount of answers that I’ve struggled with for a few years now.  My situation is a familiar one:  I got married at 25, and my wife had a baby shortly after.  I couldn’t believe how settled I felt, and my only concern was protecting my family and ensuring our future was secured. I worked my ass off for years, and somehow lost the magic between my wife, but I always loved her and told her that everyday.  Essentially, the proverbial “honey moon” seemed to be over, and real life of survival in the corporate work place seemed to be my major concern.  My wife didn’t work, and didn’t have the skills or education to establish a career, so we both agreed that she was best served to stay home and take care of our child.  This went on for years until my son was old enough to start school, and my wife at the time felt useless and dissatisfied over time.  We didn’t talk much about how she felt so alone and depressed, and I actually never saw how serious it was because she always told me what I wanted to hear with how everything was fine.  I continued to do what I thought needed to be done…

In a nutshell, my wife ended up cheated on me with my best friend, and left me with my son for a better life.  I was caught completely off guard, and I tried like hell to understand exactly why this was happening.  To no avail, I never got those answers and I felt completely fucking useless to continue life without my family that I worked my ass for.  Tried suicide, but ended up going to a mental ward for a week.  I would of stayed longer, but I convinced the doctor I just did it for the attention, blah blah, I’m normal, and it worked.  Got out, and months later I was arrested for harassing my wife over the phone. I was drunk and called excessively…  In a jail cell, I realized just how far gone she was from my heart.  The unthinkable happens, and it takes awhile (years) for it to actually come real.  Everyone will tell you (that wants to help) that time will cure all of the pain.  I suppose this is true if you’re a below average idiot that could care less what’s real and what isn’t, but for me I suppose I’m a idiot that’s slightly above average.  HOW THE FUCK DID MY LIFE TURN UP LIKE THIS?  Over and over again…

So anyway…  That’s the background, and here’s the solution that I stumbled on by accident…

Cough syrup (the right kind)

Has helped me unlock the answers, and is completely legal.

I’ll save you some time so you don’t get sick-

step 1: Get the right kind, google this.
step2: Don’t drink it, extract the main chemical
step3:  Google “agent lemon” to learn how to extract it.
step4:  Allow the drug to unlock it all… Write it all down.

This helps for a bit, but doesn’t actually cure the whole reality of how this world can be just so amazingly fucked up at times.  It helps though, to some degree…

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orangish 7/14/2012 - 9:59 pm

You know, when I was a teenager (in the mid-to-late ’90s) my sisters and I, and practically everyone in our age bracket that we knew, just loved that stuff. I can tell you horror stories about it, too. One of the main problems with it is that it’s a dissociative agent – it doesn’t put you in touch with anything inward, but it does sever the communication between your nervous system and your brain.

At one point, after taking too much of the stuff, my sister was rocking in a corner of her disheveled room, pulling single strands of hair out of her head, one by one, methodically, while chanting, “I found it! I found it! I found it!”

I refused to touch the stuff again after seeing her like that. Stick to phenethylamines and tryptamines if you want to learn about yourself and your life, but be careful because they’re easy to overdo.

fromthisheight 7/14/2012 - 10:12 pm

Very understandable, and thank you for the advice. I was actually planning on preparing a tea to extract DMT, and I have most of what I need. I suppose this is a next step. I do agree with being careful though, and I think I should of put that as a warning in my original post. I’m about a hour away from another experiment, this time with a higher dose than normal. This will be my last time with DXM until I go forward with something different. The thing about DXM that is amazing though is its legal status. It’s practically the only thing available that’s legal which will induce an experience worth trying. I can’t relate to how your sister seemed to have a bad trip, but I can only wonder what is going through her mind while she was saying that.
But yeah, I remember being a teenager in the 90s as well, and actually that’s when I first heard of DXM, but didn’t try it until now. It’s funny how that works…

Can you give an example of phenthylamines? Thanks again!

ThousandCuts 7/14/2012 - 10:29 pm

I used to mess around with DXM, never tried extracting it or anything, just drank a bottle or two of the medicine. Some good trips, I think I actually enjoyed the afterglow effect of the next day or two after the trip more.

Anyways, I just wanted to say what you’re going through really sucks. I’ve spent the last 8 months messed up over a woman who did something similar to me, and I didn’t even have a marriage or kids on the line with her. Just a relationship that ended, and this has still felt like hell. So I’m sure it has not been easy on you.

Don’t go too crazy with the drugs. I know what’s it like to want answers, but the only answer you really need is that she’s a shitty person who would throw away a marriage and a family because she found someone else she wanted to fool around with. The answer that you need is that she was the jerk, not you.

orangish 7/14/2012 - 11:21 pm

Hi – probably your best bet for information regarding phenethylamines is PIHKAL by Alexander Schlugin. If you’re interested in exploring along that pathway, it’s extremely interesting, both for the introspective philosophy, and the commentary on therapeutic benefit of a given substance.

As for examples, there are a few well-known ones, such as MDA/MDMA, amphetamines (which I take for ADHD), and the 2C-x family of compounds. The first two in particular are rather addictive if used frequently, so it’s best to be careful with them. Amp gets a bad rap due to abuse in colleges, but in all reality, caffeine has a worse withdrawal (excruciating migraines that last all day, regardless of how much caffeine you drink to make it stop). That’s not to say amp withdrawal is easier to get through, just that it’s not as physically difficult.

With DXM, the dissociative effects tend to “chop up” thought processes, so reasoning, which is divorced from perception, gets put through a process of dissociation in a way, as well. She was most likely thinking, “I found it! I found it! I found it!” and did not even realize she was also saying it. Ketamine has a similar effect called a “K-Hole.”

I can sympathize with a lot of what you’re going through, though. A friend of mine is in a similar position and I actually pulled up my roots and moved halfway across the country to help him deal with it… I know it sucks and you’re probably in a state of shock right now (distanced from the trauma). About the only thing I can say is that it’s not – it is not – a reflection on you that you’re going through this. You can’t control how other people choose to act or react to things. You can only choose how you take it, and how you let it change you; will it help you or hinder you in the long-run? It seems weird to think something like this could help you in some way, but things like this are the most concrete grounds to spring from. You just have to realize it’s not you that’s at fault here; you didn’t choose this. You do have to find a way to work through it, though.

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