Is there honestly any reason not to…?

I have been suicidal for probably the better part of 5 years and looking back at my life and where I am now I always ask myself “why didn’t I just do it then?” Nothing ever improves, I’m too much of a pathetic, fuck up to ever improve it. I realize a few people here will still say I have hope, but realistically take a look at my current life and take your mindset off of a suicide relief/help site mentality for a second. If any person in real life read what I am about to describe below they would most likely agree that there is no point. I’m beyond salvage.

27 and never been on a date. never had a girlfriend. Still a virgin. First and last kiss at age 9. Only sexual contact I’ve had at all was with a prostitute.

I am a disgrace and shame to my family. At this point I have 0 relationship with any of them. The only person who has tried to even contact me is my sister and I more or less told her not a single one of them will ever see me again unless it is to identify my body

I have grown to resent the few friends I have because they seriously probably don’t give a fuck about me. At this age they are all basically finding partners and settling down. Not one of them has ever even tried to help me, they know my issues but they would never even go out of their way to invite me to do anything with them or introduce me to someone. I know it is not their problem but for others who have suffered the same problems they seem to forget what it is like pretty quick once they find a partner.

Have an extremely shitty job only to afford my studio apartment that I will most likely die alone in. I assume nobody will even notice until another tenant smells my dead body days later and alerts the landlord.

College Dropout. Eventually it started to destroy me seeing every asshole I dormed with bringing home girl after girl after girl. Then even seeing my just as equally as clueless friends get lucky from time to time was devastating as I literally not once got any female attention in college. Now I see all these bastards with great jobs and lives just because they are more charismatic, attractive and better networkers than an introverted, shy ***** like me.

I’m ugly as fuck – 110lbs soaking wet – Balding very, VERY badly – Acne – 5’5″ – Indian…Is there a bigger kiss of death in America…or anywhere for that matter?

There you have it. Maybe if I die now there will be nothing but a void of eternal sleep, maybe I will be reincarnated as a less pathetic being, don’t really care as long as I don’t have to live out the rest of this life with the shit cards I have been dealt. I’m not going to put any effort into a complete lost cause. I’ve tried it before (therapy, medication, traveling, exercise, okcupid, pickup) and have had absolutely zero results. I am not going to bother anymore. I actually hope a troll see this and pm’s me full proof methods of suicide because if I fail at this then I truly am a useless.