Rachel Ferguson- Never Good Enough
The story of me. I wrote this after my first hospital visit, it was going to be my suicide note but a close friend of mine found me before I died. He has an uncanny ability to call me whenever I’m seriously debating suicide even though he’s moved all the way across the world from me.
Born to the urban monster,
Raised to be mindless,
Her curiosity brought pain,
Tears of blood shed in silence.
Ostracized by her peers,
In the shadows she played.
Her “friends†cruel like the rest,
As she was bullied there came no aid.
Fragile, she often wept,
They laughed and pointed.
Ridiculed and mocked into failure,
Her parents only watched, disappointed.
Harder still she pushed through life,
Hoping to someday make everyone proud.
Never stopping, working ‘til exhaustion,
She’d reach perfection, she foolishly vowed.
The days passed and years went by,
Aged by pain far beyond her time,
Fun and games far from her mind,
Wasted away before her prime.
Her life ended before her death,
Robotically going through the motions.
Soon she could take it no more,
And let herself flow with her emotions.
The sharp knife stung her skin,
Crimson streams her sorrow released.
She cut and cut all the while feeling free,
She cut until all thoughts and feelings ceased.
Finally she had the peace she craved,
Her angry thoughts for the moment sated.
Until from her dreams she was awakened,
Finding that by sudden friends she was surrounded.
Fake smiles, sickly sweet voices,
Why had she done it?
Hadn’t she thought of them?
Why would such a sin she commit?
All dreams taken away from her,
She felt her will weaken.
Broken beyond repair,
The hope in her completely beaten.
-Ren, The Riddle Queen
2 comments
Nice, I like it. keep writing. I had hospital stay when I was 16, the images going through my head was spilled from my pen to paper so easily I wonder why such inspiration came to me when I was in such an unhappy situation…who knows.
I like that. Perhaps writing could be some sort of outlet for you to keep suicidal thoughts from completely overwhelming you? You’re obviously very good at writing, I have no doubt you have many years worth of prose and poetry in you.