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Not just yet! I AM NOT DONE!

by motogeezer

I have gotten nothing but bad news for weeks now. One huge kick to the teeth after another. And it would be difficult for life to throw anything else at me that has not already been done. However, I have done a lot of thinking and have decided that I will NOT  just sit here and let all of these people take away my soul, my dignity, my self respect and my life. I am going to make a stand and become more proactive in these problems one at a time untill I reclaim what is rightfully mine. I want my life back. Sitting here thinking of all of the pain I am in and the pain I would like to inflict on a certain person is getting me nowhere.

Ending my life now would be like conceiding and letting them win! Not this time, I wanna be the winner for once. just once.I honestly believe if I make a stand and really put forth the kind of effort into going after a chance at a real life, that I put into trying to end it, I will succeed! Dont get me wrong, I still have the same feelings as before but it was something I heard on tv last night that clicked in my head. (glad it was not a gun). It just rang my bell like a wake up call. I am still in huge troube financially, and will still be losing my home on august 1st and I still have no food but I dont care anymore! Somehow I have been here before and have managed. I have lost all that I have worked so hard for and have never been able to replace it but I still got by. I have a friend who has invented a machine for processing gold and he worked on it for several years and is worth over $600 MILLION dollars, his stock holders took over and have basicly stolen his entire life! He has not received one CENT from HIS invention. However since he spent every dime of his personal life savings building it, he is flat broke and living in poverty. But this is a man who made his first million at the age of 24 and he is going to fight untill his last breath to get it back. So when I spoke with him he lit a fire under my ass and what he said really motivated me to get back up and reclaim my life and go after what is mine. Nobody is just going to give it to us. We have worked hard all of our lives now we need to work harder, longer and better. So to the ASSHOLES of the world, I am back and now Im PISSED!


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vpalexander 7/16/2012 - 12:34 pm

Right on – it’s all 99% attitude. Conviction creates belief and grants strength, and although not entirely wholesome, anger has its place. I have pulled myself out of the shit-pit with nothing but anger and disgust. It’s sustaining for as long as it has to be.

Tmotogeezer 7/16/2012 - 12:39 pm

This is not anger by all means, I just want 1 more chance to give this everything I have and and see for once what I am truely made of. If I fail I will be no worse off than I am now. But if I succeed! This is nothing but pure determination now. I have made a concsious decision that I am not going to allow to be a victim anymore or make myself the marter! I am the only person in the universe that can change my situation, nobody else can. I figure if I have the will and constitution to end my life, I can also change it for the better!

louise50 7/16/2012 - 12:56 pm

Hey, nice one Motogeezer, I’m so pleased to hear you have had a revelation that has made you think differently. Interestingly I have had something similar myself this past week. Sometimes life just puts this stuff in our way and it’s truly a blessing from above (to me anyway). I’m just glad to hear you sounding so positive, considering your circumstances it’s admirable that you’re showing such strength and courage to fight back, all power to you. I think this is your turning point! Bw, Zoe

motogeezer 7/16/2012 - 1:05 pm

Strange how a few honest words from a friend and a couple lines from a tv show can put things into perspective. I have gotten some amazing words from my new friends here on this site as well. Some people here still have a glimmer of hope in their words and I hope they find the simple little sentence that clicks for them. I am not going to stop visiting here, I hope I can help others in some small way regardless of their decisions they make.

FakeSmile 7/16/2012 - 1:07 pm

good luck moto.

glad you found your peace.

motogeezer 7/16/2012 - 1:21 pm

Make no mistake, I have not found my peace, but I will not go out like this without putting up a fight. I am still very shaky and going to need a little help but we all need help once in a while. My destiny is not sitting here and letting others use me as the whipping boy.

sicovital 7/18/2012 - 5:34 pm

🙂 You know there are times when the human spirit just amazes me. I am in awe of you. I think you have an awesome post and the determination in your words gives me strength and determination to keep fighting for what is rightfully mine. I know it will not be easy, but I also know I have experience behind me to know what I want to fight for. Like you said, I may not find what I am looking for, but if I can get on a plane after 26 years, then, there is nothing I can’t do! Thank you for you very inspiring post. You are truly amazing!

Silentblue 7/20/2012 - 8:37 pm

motogeezer, motivating words. I’m sure anyone with a little hope would feel good for reading this. glad you posted.

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