positivity?

im trying to force my way through today to be positive, my friend recently moved out of my house and she lives quiet a way away now and i really miss her, my brother also moved even furthur away recently. i really miss being able to easily hang around with them, they were my reasons for waking up, they still are, its just abit more difficult. i feel kind of lost, i like being around people when the black cloud of deppresion isnt horribly distorting who i am. so im going to try and go outside today, even if its just walking around in my town, which is abit rubbish haha but its something other than being in this house. i desparetly want someone to hug, i no who i want to do that but i cant have that right now, and its hard telling myself that the 3 people i most want to be with i cant, one of them i casnt be with for atleast another 2 years, i dont really no what im saying, i just miss them, want a hug, sounds abit stupid really but thats the way it is. one thing iv learnt though is when you struggel through the bad days, mostly it gives you a bit more strength, you get more from if you lay paralyzed by the doubt and the sadness. so i hope someone trys to have a littel bit of fight in them, that is what deppresion is weakest against-a will to fight. i didnt have that for a long time but i think iv found a littel bit now, if its not there atificially create it by walking outside or doing something you wouldnt do, it can be done, i believe it can, afterall it takes tremendous strength for any of you to still be here, even if you have attempted suicide, feel like you will, no matter what if you are still breathing i admire you, you have a lot of strenght to be breathing and yet so unhappy.