Will a mix of diclofenic, codeine phosphate, ibuprofen, amitripiline, paracetamol gabapentin and diazepam be enough to kill me outright.?
I can’t get out of the house to get alcohol but have about 150 pills altogether. I have a very disabling, chronic physical condition that renders me in 24/7 severe pain and distress. I can’t be helped and living is not an option. I have suffered too long like this and need it end for mine and my family’s sake. Please advise only if you can guide me if it will work. I have had counselling and hospital visits to no avail. My pain never ends and need to know if this will definately work. Thank you.
I know a lot of people will respond with sarcasm. That’s not what I need. I’ve thought this through, believe me, I have a loving family to leave behind, it’s heartbreaking. I’ve tried to research it for weeks/months but never find the answer to this mix of pills. I cant get out to get what I need. Thanks for the genuine responses.
62 comments
Wont help a bit… you really wont be able to die on a mix of these medicines… leave dying you wont be able to take these medicines 150 in all… i suppose you will throw up when you reach around 50 cause our body is made this way…. even if you have passed out, your body will throw all the medicine out and you will wake up to a pool of vomit most probably with a bad bad severe headache and maybe some damage to your liver… At SP we help you get over things and advise you how to see the other side… maybe i cannot understand what your pain is, what you are truly going through but i am here to listen and if there is even that 1% chance that we work something out for you to make it better for you i would give it a shot… you have tried everything and failed so why not give SP a final shot in life that is what i thought when i came here… make a bunch of friends who can really feel your pain and are more or less in the same situation you are… Try to find happiness with them it might just help to reduce that pain a bit… did not intend to write such a big comment really doesnt make sense but if it helps you give SP a try why not… So think about it and pills mostly will just damage your organs if abused for toooo long
I am desperate lonelyash. I have no glimmers of hope, I sincerely wish I did, but thanks for your concern. I doubt I will find anybody in my situation, living is definitely not an option due to this bloody condition. I have fought so hard to stay with my boys but I can take no more. I am giving up my life so reluctantly because until this cruel twist of fate got me, I had it all. The perfect life, the perfect family, good job, nice home and security. So this is not something I take lightly at all. I’m only 42 I wanted to see my kids fly the nest and be there to guide them. I wanted to have some good times with my hubby now the kids are independent, our second wind. We had it all planned. It was about to get really good. Life’s a *****. Will just have to hope it works, I have no other route out. Thanks for your response x
I can’t believe that this will not do it. Surely mixing this amount of prescription meds is more than the body can fight. I am in despair now. Don’t want to fail and give my family more grief. What a mess.
DM2011, I’m so sorry you are feeling so desperate. It is against the rules of this website to post details of suicide methods, even if it wasn’t I would not be able to advise you. Basically my understanding is that most pills will not kill you even in overdose, and i doubt that even those ‘in the know’ about your chosen cocktail would say any different…
Chronic physical pain that is always with you is enough to grind anyone down I am sure. If I were you, and if this is an irreversible illness which is incurable and untreatable, I would consider getting in touch with Dignitas to see if you would qualify for an assisted suicide. They will not help you if they consider that you are ‘just’ depressed.
Or is the illness something like M.E., which can be extremely painful as well as disabling? If it is, there is every chance that you could make a full recovery.
Anyway, this will probably get deleted because I mentioned Dignitas. I’m sorry that I can’t offer any more help than this but at least I have heard you and you are in my thoughts DM2011. Hope you can find some relief soon. Z x
Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I thought that was the nature of this site, but I’m not fully on the ball with having this condition. This is definitly not curable and is hell on earth. My condition is so cruel. A massive muscle spasm has literally pulled my head off my neck and won’t stop. Unbelievable but true, I know. I would definitely choose to stay if I could, my family are my world. My jaw is all twisted and my spine is collapsing daily. My tongue and windpipe have twisted badly and its too awful for words. My husband can only sit by helplessly watching it do this to me. It all began after too aggressive osteopathic manipulations sent me in haywire. Until then I was perfectly healthy and very happy. I am distraught. Is there anywhere who can advise me how to end it myself, dignitas couldnt help. Thanks xx
DM2011…. I hope I could help you :”( your story is so sad. I know that you don’t want to leave behind your family, I totally relate to you, your story and mine are pretty much the same, I’m healthy but I’m losing my adopted daughter, she was born with brain cancer and after 12 years of seeing her suffering I just can do this anymore. I wish we could die right now and start all over again… Life has being so cruel with you, and your sickness is taking away everything you love… If there is not cure for you I don’t see anything wrong on you trying to stop the pain forever… TO try with the pills or something else it may work , that is something no one can help you with, because of laws and stuff like that people like us we are sentenced to go thru this alone…. If you wanna talk I’m here for you… I know how hard and awful is to plain your own death…
I’m so sorry for your situation too. Why is life so cruel? Do you plan to end it too for definite or just feeling really low? I wish there was a cure for me, or at least some relief. I feel like I have already died, I was gone forever when he did this to me. I can’t believe what a fool I have been and feel so, so guilty and keep thinking if only. I have been researching for weeks, but can’t get what I need. Even though he knows my plight, my husband said he just can’t help me or allow me in anyway. He keeps saying he doesn’t want me to go but I have to. What a horrible situation we are all in eh? I fear failing as much as I do dying. I can’t put them through more grief and pain. I also am scared of dying alone, he refuses to be there even if it wasn’t illegal. I have begged and begged him to hold my hand but he said he just can,t do it. Do you have a plan and will you be alone too? I am more afraid because I feel I have been forced to do something I never would have done. Love to you x
:'( :'( after reading all this i can bring a picture in my head of you and your pain which just broke me down into pieces… I feel really sad for you… You are so caring and think so much about your family and when you had a beautiful life all of a sudden this happens… Life is really a ***** and changes around with the blink of an eye…. Really want to help but cant do anything except pray and hope your pain comes to an end soon and you get what you want in life…. <3 <3
Thank you for those kind words. It brought me to tears lonelylash as I read it to my husband. I can’t believe it’s come to this. My poor family, what have I already done and are going to do to them. They have had to witness and experience something so horrible that will haunt them probably forever. How can I possibly go in peace knowing that. I/we need all the prayers we can get. I wasn’t evil, just the opposite. I would and did do everything for anybody who asked. So why me, what have I done to deserve such a cruel ending? Thank you for caring x
I don’t know you personally but I relate to every word and feeling… I know how you feel, is not that you want to escape, what you want is to protect your family… People that are ill shouldn’t be pushed in this way… in a perfect world we would die in a pacific and painless way… I have a plan… I’m petit so I think I can try with overdose of pills or heroin, I never ever have done drugs… actually I hate them, ironical isn’t it? Whenever I get serious about my idea of killing myself I cry a lot, I feel so sad and I wish things were different… I wish I could say good bye to everyone before I go… that is why I’m posting here, because I want my family and friends to be able to understand but overall I don’t want them to feel guilty, I want them to understand that If one day I kill myself it won’t be out of despair even thou I feel so desperate as you do… I want my family to understand that my mind is clear and if I’m choosing this way is because pain has become unbearable, I want them to know that this could be the best for me, that I’m totally fine… no regrets, you know…
Are you suffering physically too? I feel for you also, it’s a horrible place to be. It’s not just protecting them, they don’t want me to leave, they keep telling me it doesn’t matter that I’m like this, they love me just the same. But just not being an active part of their lives anymore is ripping me apart. I missed my son’s graduation and I was so sad. I worked and supported him so much to help get him in to university. My youngest is heartbroken, a proper mammy’s boy at 18! I have given them letters and put things aside for them and my husband, but boy did it hurt doing it. I have said all my goodbyes already so many times, there was and still is a good chance this could kill me first before I get the opportunity to try and end it myself. My heart is in pieces. Do you feel the same? I have also told them not to feel guilty, they have done all they could for me and more. This is purely because I need to end my pain. xx
I feel so sad for your husband… I get why he doesn’t wanna help, he loves you… is such a terrible and delicate subject… what is the meaning of life? it is different for everyone, You don’t deserve this for sure… I think you have to talk as much as possible with your husband and family, talk about all the good things, the good memories you shared together… It won’t take away the pain (actually your heart is going to break in million pieces over and over again) but it will be a nice way for you to feel in peace and maybe can help you to take a final decision… You have enough on your plate, give yourself a small break if you can… you don’t have to decide today… sending you love… here to talk whenever you want…
To talk yo you is making me to think like a lot… don’t wanna sound mean but when I read some of the posts over here, teenagers wanting to die over feeling rejected or alone I often think they have no real reason to give up, like no one should commit suicide over shallow pain, you know what I mean… I now I’m asking myself if I have any right to talk about this with someone like you, I mean… your sitch is thousand times worst than mine… My pain is all in my soul… My memories hurts, my thoughts about my family suffering hurt, the futility of all my efforts hurts… I hve had such a hard life, my mom had 7 kids, when she was 29 years old she lost the custody of all her children, I grew up in extreme poverty, but I was strong, I worked very hard and I was honest so I helped my younger siblings and we managed to over come poverty… We were doing fine but then my oldest sister had a baby, she used to do tons of drugs and the baby was born with a brain tumor. I took care of the babygirl, and I tried my hardest to save her life… We are from a country that doesn’t have medical care so I had to work as a crazy to pay for everything, tons of money on meds and hospitals, we were doing okey, my brothers and sisters were always around and we used to be a beautiful family… One day I lost my job, I needed so much money so I went to Canada looking for work… by trying to save her I lost everything… I was saving up all my money to take her to the states for a brain surgery that promised not to cure her but help with the epileptic crisis that are killing her brain… In this process I left her alone, and I left my brother and sisters dealing with things they weren’t ready or made for. One day they started to understand that she had not salvation. I dedicate 12 years of my life to this… it took everything away from me… I don’t like the way I feel right now… Is like all the good on me is dying… at the end she will die for what? for no reason!! and it is like our lives were so little, so meaningless, I feel like the world is telling me: You guys are nothing, your lives were nothing, all the efforts and pain were for nothing, she is going to die I cannot do anything to save her… 4 months ago I got deported from Canada, I explained all my situation to the Immigration authorities and they didn’t care. My friends tried to help me but they said no. I have lost faith in humanity…
But where would they have all been without you and what if they need you again? You have given so much of yourself, you should be very proud. You cannot save your sister but you never gave up on her, that is a truly selfless, caring act. You lived in poverty but you did it, you gave what they needed. Surely they are your reason to keep going, it sounds like they need you. You did what you thought was best for them all, you certainly didn’t dessert them. While you have people who love you that is a reason to keep living. It is only when you realise you really don’t have a choice that life truly becomes more precious. Our lives are so meaningless to everyone outside, I’ve found that out too, but not to each other. Hang in there you sound like a fighter after all you’ve been through. As long as you have faith in yourself and your loved ones, who cares about the rest. Take care and I wish you future happiness. xx
DM2011, thank you so much for all your kind words… as you said before: “I’ve thought this through, believe me,” I feel way too much pain, and I’m alone, no one knows how I feel. I’m thinking in my family, if I die they can use the money that I have saved plus the money from my retirement fund…If I chose to stay I face the possibility of failure. I don’t want my family to see me going down spiral :'( … anyways… hope you will find a way to deal with this, hope your pain will go away… thank u so much for being my friend for today… if you ever feel like talking I will try to be here for you… You are A GOOD PERSON for sure, I mean, even thou you are having such a hard time somehow you’re helping me and trying to make me feel better…
I just feel sad to hear you talk of ending it when you have tried so hard to make it work. I had another friend say the same to me earlier, he had wished himself dead instead of his brother so his wife and kids would have been secure financially. And I’ll say to you as well, money can never replace you. They want and need ~YOU! They would probably not want to touch the money knowing how they got it anyway. Have you sought counselling, just somewhere you can offload your feelings? So many people have said that to me and I have refused as mine is all physical, but maybe it might help you? And if my family can still love me like this then I’m sure yours will too whatever happens to you. Please think so carefully, you will be missed badly I promise and thanks for talking to me too. I hope your pain heals for you. xx
Sorry, did not intend to break you down but you know after hearing all the above i just couldn’t stop myself from typing all that. I really thought that emotional suffering is worse than physical but i never thought there can be a combination of both. I would say if your family really wants to be with you, hang in there while you are here. Try and be happy for them. Live these last days for them and with them. Be with your sons, your husband. Not only me but nobody can really say why this is happening to you or any of us for that matter after we have been so good all our life. A saying goes around that good people are the ones who suffer. Its life that has turned around, destiny if you believe in it cause i do. You should really stop thinking and trying to die, instead live your final days with your loved ones and they will be happy just to see you happy. Do it for them and show that you still care and want to be there with them till your last breath. Hope something does work out for you. <3 <3
Hi, my name is Damian Krepa, Im a registered massage therapist out of vancouver british columbia. Id like to help you.
could you tell me a little about the history/treatment/name of the condition you have after those two osteopathic manipulation sessions?
have you seen a doctor?
what have they said?
when did this happen?
Thank you again for your support. I have woken again after deteriorating more. I am trying to put my final things into place. I have looked for gifts to be delivered for my husband and sons to come after I’m gone. I have been thinking, just a bit longer and we would have made our silver anniversary, I would have got him something so lovely. A special gift for a very special man! As the day goes on I’m trying to prepare, I think tonight will be it if the boys are out. Even if this was never going to kill me, this is not a livable condition, I am so miserable being like this. Not sure how you’re supposed to carry on knowing you probs only have a few hours. Ordered a bed for my son this morning and maybe gone by tonight! It’s so surreal, I just want to hold them all and never let go. Thanks to you and everyone for responding. It’s been good to get my feelings out xxx
it breaks my hearth :'( …. i know you are in so much pain… I wish I could do somthing for you… I’ve been reading a lot about suicide methods, It makes me sick… I know how it is. you read and cry, so feel so alone and hopeless, you want something or someone to come and save you but at the end you know you have to do this on your own, words aren’t enough to describe the pain and sorrow of planing our own death 🙁
STILL… can you hold it just one more day?
I have to do it when the boys are not in, I can’t risk them finding me or seeing me if it goes wrong. Also I have to do it when I know I will not be discovered for a while, so will go to bed early, he usually falls asleep down here. My husband has to go back to work on Monday and my youngest will be here to look after me so I am never alone. The boys both sleep out tonight, so it’s tonight or wait another long week. Why put off the inevitable any longer, it will just cause more heartbreak in the long run. I feel all the above you describe, I just hope despite everyone telling me it probably won’t work that it will. I can’t get anything better. Thanks sowhat xxxx
DM2011… Dunno what to say, I’m really worry for you, I know I have no right to ask you to wait but maybe you need to spend a lil more time with your family, you love them so much… One week more can give you lots of pain but also can give you precious minutes of happiness. I have no idea for how long you been thinking about to take those pills, but is worth to think twice about it… Are you afraid of this? Do you believe in the afterlife?
There is nothing you can say to make this better, I wished somebody could. I’m very afraid, that’s why I’m still here now. More afraid of what I’ll leave behind, I just wished this had killed me by now and not forced me to do it, that would have been kinder to all. I have been planning for about 3 months or more as I got worse. I have no happiness at all at the moment, everytime I see my kids or husband another bit of my heart shatters and it hurts knowing I cannot stay like this. Thats the worst pain of all. I don’t know what to believe. I am not religious and I don’t know if I want there to be something more. If I thought I would be with my loved ones again and happy then I hope there is, but if suicide will condemn me to eternity in this body then no, let there be nothing. I just cant accept I’ve got to go x
:'( :'( :'( this is so sad… I like the feeling when I go to bed and I fall deeply asleep, hope death is like to be sleeping and having a good dream… DM2011, your family will love you no matter what, if you go tonite you will be greatly missed but I’m pretty sure they will understand your reasons. No one wants to see a loved one suffering… I hope life will have mercy and I hope I will be talking to you latter or tomorrow…
If you feel so low sowhat, talking to people like me on here can surely only make you feel worse. I sincerely thank you for all your kind words and concern but I’m worried now that I am not helping you in any way whatsoever. This is so depressing, maybe talking to someone with more hope would be better for you. For everyone’s sake, I really hope I can be brave enough tonight. If you do not hear back from me you will know. Thank you again and you try your very best to keep going xx
Could you email me personally Damien and I can go into greater detail. Thanks so much. Your post was sent to my junk mail and I’ve only just noticed it.
DM2011, to talk to you is helping me a lot, you are the only person I have talked with in the past 24hrs… You make me think a lot… And I relate to you… I know how it feels to face the worst day of your life alone, I know how it feels to try to hide your pain from your family and friends. I can’t believe that life ans society rules are pushing you in this way… I will try my best… I owe that to you…
Could you email me personally Damien and I can go into greater detail. Thanks so much. Your post was sent to my junk mail and I’ve only just noticed it.
What is it that’s stopping you sowhat? Is it fear of death or something else? How long have you been feeling like this now? What is it that keeps you here, there must be something you don’t want to let go of? x
I don’t fear death, I feel failure. the idea of failing at commit suicide scares me a lot… What is stopping me? my family and friends, I don’t think they could understand why, and I know their lives could be seriously affected. But being totally honest the truth is: my brothers ans sisters don’t love me anymore, no one to blame, life was way too hard on us and that tore us apart, and my friends they all are good people, they love me very much but they are in Canada and I’m here, sure they all miss me one but time will do his work and one day they will forget about me.
Let’s say that I’m hopeless, destroyed from inside, I know I have to try at least one more time but I’m so so tired and lonely. My deadline is September 25th if things haven’t changed by then I will just put myself to sleep…
We only get one shot at this life, think so carefully. No one will forget about you ever, that’s why I’m struggling. You never know what is around the corner, maybe you will make new friends or meet a partner. Do you live alone now, that could change, please give yourself more time, some things we have to wait for but they’re worth it. Have you got no one you can talk to?
DM2011, thank you thank you thank you… all your words made me feel a less lonely. I have no one to talk to, I was always super positive and strong and people loved me because of that, they have a high idea about me and I don’t want to let anyone down. If I talk to my family and friends about this feeling and let’s say one day I finally kill myself everyone will feel devastated and guilty, they will go like: OMG! I could do something, she is gone because I didn’t help her… I want to leave good memories behind me. DM2011, I’m pretty sure you have a life full of love and good memories, I wish I was your real friend. How you feeling now??
Still feeling desperate and scared. Same as you, the fear of failure is great, but the sadness I feel at not being able to be a proper wife and mother is greater. Talk to your family, that might even change entirely the way you feel, when they know, they can help and support you. They will probably be more angry if you do it and haven’t gone to them first. That will make them feel like they let you down anyway. I know I would have felt like that if I didn’t pick up that some one was so low. I have so many good memories, just so sad I can’t make anymore, but maybe you could xx
DM2011… it is so complicated, I don’t want to be a burden on them, and they can’t help me, their lives are as just as hard as mine, maybe they handle it better cuz all of them are in a relationship and I am alone. As you said “the sadness is greater” I have lost everything I cared for, I know I can try over and over again but the idea of living a miserable life sicks me out, I don’t want to be like a nasty bug just trying to survive, I want to have love and a beautiful life. Guess something is wrong with me, I never learned how to be unhappy, my life has been like hell and still, I want something better or nothing! hard to explain. do you like music? do you have any regrets?
My only regret is seeing the person who did this to me. Everything else I would do just the same with the same people all over again if I could. I’m sorry that you cannot feel like that. I keep telling myself at least my 42 years were very happy, but maybe that’s why I feel so cheated that I will be leaving, if successful, so soon. I had loads more still to do. Maybe if I felt like you it would make it easier somehow. No one can stop you from doing it, but I really hope you find help first. I know no one can take your pain away, and like me, only you know when you can take no more. I liked rock music, aging rocker I was! What about you?
“My only regret is seeing the person who did this to me” what do you mean by this? I thought your illness was something that just happened to you.. the idea of someone causing you all this pain is awful!!
I would like to know what is your favorite song, if we make it thru this I could play it to remind myself that you were my only friend in the worst 24 hrs of my life…
I went to see an osteopath for a jaw problem only. Otherwise I was very healthy and active. He said he could help me and also better align my body while he was at it. He was obviously too agressive and did something badly wrong. A massive muscle spasm has literally pulled my head off my neck and won’t stop. Unbelievable but true, I know. . My jaw is all twisted and my spine is collapsing and rotating daily. I have loads of other problems now too. My husband always said our song was Journey, “Don’t stop believing” and have requested it for my funeral along with a song by Def Leppard called “Love bites”. Do you know them? Anything by Bon Jovi too! Wish I was talking to you under better circumstances x
x
Whoever did this to you must to pay, this is so unfair! I’m so sorry, arei u iin the states? If you are maybe something can be done for you, I mean there are many amazing things happening in the medicine world… I know that if you find a lil hope you will stay here. I know one of the songs, I will listen to the second one tonite, yeah! You are such a good and brave person, if you don’t say good bye tonite lets try to keep in touch. I will take a break I have been in this website for more than 24 hrs now… Thank you so so much for all your words… No pain, not fear, wishing you the best in whatever u do, I will check on you latter…
I’m in the UK, and will have to take a break too. Enough for one day, I want to talk to my family now. Thanks again for being there. Love to you x
DM2011, please tell me you are here still… listening to your song: Don’t stop Believing…
I have just written my boys letters, they are 18 and 21, for my husband to give them on their wedding days. This is breaking me up. I’m having such a bad day physically. I plan to do it tonight, take the gamble and pray it works, if I can get the opportunity to be alone upstairs long enough and the boys out. I just can’t take much more. I didn’t get my chance last night, and today I just wished I wasn’t here. I just can’t hear that song now sowhat, it cuts me up. Bless you. How are you feeling? xx
I really hope you are still here too…
Thank you, but I’m on borrowed time. I have to go and it hurts so bad. I just cant help but think why me all the time. Why us? We never did anything bad?
I wish I could answer those questions for you. We all ask those questions at one point. Before my mom passed, she asked me that…she asked me why, after the shitty life and hell she endured (and got through) why? So the pastor preached that Sunday and one thing stuck out. He said that people that have a hard life and face difficulties and struggle in their lives have a really important job up there and they are just being prepared for it. It gave me just a tiny bit of comfort that she felt important in that aspect. Doesn’t make anything better, just thought I’d share. If you go, you will be missed, not just your family and friends near you…us here too. But I know the pain is unbearable, good luck in your decision. <3
Thank you so much. It’s not really a decision, it’s forcing me to do it. I fought so hard to stick it out as long as I could, but its time to admit its beaten me. I can’t believe I have to go, my mind’s screaming no, but my body’s not listening. So sorry you lost your mother, I don’t know that pain and I sincerely wished my kids weren’t going to either. I just can’t accept that one stupid man did this to me, cost us everything we had. I will never forgive him wherever I end up. I am so angry.
I know you are in so much pain 🙁 I feel so sorry! I woke up 3am like always and I was thinking about you, worry for you… You shouldn’t ask why?? there is not answer for that, You were good and you did everything in the right way, but there is something (or a lot) about life that is senseless, they say: “Good things happens to good people” but most of the times the good people like you get fucked over for no reason. Hope the pain will go away, I wish you will be able to find some peace and rest, no matter if you stay or if you go…
That is what I need now peace, a rest from the pain and discomfort. I only wish my family some peace too. I hope they will be ok without me, please god, look after them for me. Please don’t worry for me, just look after yourself, I don’t want to upset another life! xx
DM2011…I believe it’s always, always a decision. I understand how you feel and that you feel as though it’s won and you lost, the pain is just to much…but the fight is only over after you decide to give up. Losing my mother..hmm, what I wouldn’t give to have her back. Selfish as that may sound. She decided when the cancer came back to just give up because the pain was unbearable. And by selfish I mean I wouldn’t care if she was in pain, I would do anything to help ease it, but I want her here with me…to talk to, to not be alone. I felt she took her life because she gave up and let it win. I felt as though I was not worth her fighting to stay. That’s a hard pill to swallow. But it was ultimately her decision and not mine. She knew how much she could handle, and that was enough. I wish you well…But believe me, your kids will never understand. I’m sorry…
They have seen what this has done to me, just how severely he has injured me. Did you see just how bad my symptoms are? I hope the y can forgive me, they’re dad will make them understand I am sure. I hope they’re anger can be aimed at the situation and not me. They know how hard I have fought this and in a way I hope I made them proud. I hung on for them all despite my pain, as long as was humanly possible. I could have gone months ago, but went through hell to spend precious time with them. I sincerely hope they see it like that, can you not feel like that about your mom, believe me she must have suffered to leave you. I know x
DM2011, you are not upsetting anyone, please don’t say so! :(, think about this: we don’t know each other, you are on the other side of the world, but we feel exactly the same (or pretty much) It is hard to explain but I’m grateful with you, thank you for share your story with me, I know that I have to put my life in perspective I owe that to you. Yesterday I had the most horrible day of my life and you were there for me… I hope something good will happen to you today, I hope you will have time and strength to be with your family, and hope you know that I’m here if you wanna talk.
I hope I have helped, I really do, and then at least coming on here has achieved something for somebody. Something positive has come out of something so bad. I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you find happiness, I only wish I could too. Thank you for listening and I wish so much we had more time to talk. I hope I find the strength to end it tonight. I can’t prolong the agony any longer. Play that song when you feel down and remember you’ve got what I couldn’t have. Cherish life it is so very precious, very, very precious xx
Yes I did, I’ve been reading this since the day you posted. I just don’t like inturruppting conversations unless needed…I’m sorry that you are in that much pain and I’m sure it’s a lot more than my mom went through, sounds it anyway. I’m sure they will forgive you, but they will still have that hole their dad can’t fill. No matter what, you will always make them proud, you’re mom and they love you. I don’t know if I can feel different about my mom, just felt like I was never enough, not a reason to fight. Idk. I struggle with it. I miss her as they will miss you. I’m glad you were able to get that precious time in with them, I’m sure it means a lot to all of you.
It meant so much to me, to see how they cared, how they supported me, how they tried to get me help, it just breaks my heart that it ever happened. I know they’re dad cant fill the hole, but he is a wonderful man and a fantastic father, and I know he will always be there for them. It is so, so sad, it was supposed to be me that looked after them all. x
DM2011: REAL LOVE IS FOREVER, your sons are husband will always love you no matter what you do, you gave them the most important thing in life: a good education, all the things you have taught them and the beauty of your soul will be with them forever, that is something that time or distance can’t destroy.
I’m gonna go out… I will try to breath again.
A mother’s love is instinctual, unconditional, and forever. never forget
Thank you for those kind words sowhat. I really did try to give them all the best of everything. They made my life so very happy. I probably wont talk to you again now, but really do hope you will find happiness, you are clearly a very caring person and have a lot to offer others. You have helped me get so many feelings out. I am going to give my husband one last night of hugs. Take care always, Kay xxx
I’ve been reading all your posts DM2011 and just want to say I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’m in the UK too (London) and my thoughts are very much with you at this unthinkably awful time. You sound like a beautiful person, both loving and very much loved. I hear your deep grief about all you have lost and are losing because of this terrible injury. I hear how scared and alone you feel at the prospect of what you feel you must do.
I wonder where you are right now. I hope you can find the strength to pull through for one more day DM2011. I really feel sad for you and your family.
Lots love. Zx
I went over to hug him and I couldnt do it. I can’t stop crying. No, no more days, this has got to end. Thank you for caring. Thanks to everybody for caring. Love to you all. xx
DM2011…Please respond…
@kay-DM2011… Please tell me you made it through the nite… last night was pretty bad for me, I didn’t have the courage to come here, I just laid in my bed trying to watch the tv… My thoughts were with you…
:'( :'( :'( :'(
DM2011… please lemme know how you doing.
Therapist wont work, they’re just a waste of money and time. therapist I had when I was in highschool and outside of junior high were nothing but greedy, selfish snobs. Who just wanted the damn money. They don’t help you. They just gave you pills that wont work and take your money. Sorry but it’s true.