people who arent suicidal trying to make you feel better. its pretty annoying. whenever my friends or family is trying to make me feel better, seeing that im in a pretty bad mood they just say something like: oh think of someone who is worse off than you..
I mean, I get it ok? there’s always going to be someone who’s in a worse situation than me. but here’s the thing about when you say that. thinking about all that, the people who are close to me with cancer, starving, hurting….i cant deal with it it just makes me more depressed. also i know they probably dont mean this but it just feels like they’re trying to say my life is fine and that none of it is fucked up. trust me, the last thing i want is sympathy, but it just feels like no one really understands exactly what IM going through, which is true, no one else in this whole fucked up world is going through the same exact thing i am going through and that makes it really hard to open up to anyone.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
8 comments
yup yup
my wife was lecturing me about how she “gets it”. And I kept saying – NO you dont. You do not have a clue. I KNOW she has no clue cuz there WAS a time that I was not in deep depression. And I had NO CLUE how dark it could be.
People who have not been there have no idea how NOT wanting to be part of this world anymore sounds reasonable. How NOT wanting to inhale one more time sounds better. That it is impossible to go to work – cuz why the fuck would I care IF i got a paycheck or accomplished anything …… cuz i will never be here to spend the check or take pride in a completed task.
When you can see the beauty in the sky or a bird or whatever touches your soul – but can see NO value in yourself. I remember my wife crying about how I was suicidal and i tried to explain – “it is not big deal – it is only me”.
And that made sense to me.
True – they dont get it. But I do. And currently (at this moment) I am NOT in my dark place. So if you WANT to talk – then email me. I will try to listen to the best of my ability. NO JUDGEMENT. Just an ear.
And on top of feeling like shit you now have to go out of your space to reassure them somehow, to be seen as bucking up and carrying on (because you aren’t a selfish asshole just thinking purely of your own pain). Yes, thanks a lot, friends and family. If you see someone that much out of sorts just leave them be. If they wanted human interaction they know how to obtain it. I agree, spouting pithy sayings and making contrasts just makes it all worse.
Actually, we’re all going through the same thing, all the time. It’s perception and perspective that’s different. That’s why even very rich people with seemingly perfect lives can also get depressed. How they interpret their circumstances, and that trail of decisions leads them to feel a certain way about life. It’s not good or bad in itself, it just is.
It annoys me when people tell me to look at folks who are worse off than me, too. That tactic is self-defeating. You look at someone worse off, and feel helpless to do anything to help them, thereby feeling helpless to help yourself do so. People don’t think their way out of depression. It’s about participating in change, not hoping for it.
its not that were not all going through the same thing, in some ways we are feeling the same thing. but our lives, what makes each and every one of us depressed and suicidal is something unique for every person
That’s what I mean, yeah. Nobody has the same perspective and perception of things. It’s not a bad thing, though. That difference is also what makes you and I unique creatures. It’s what makes people interesting.
Really good post GW21 and lots of interesting replies. It seems what you say resonates for all of us.
Having said all that, what DOES help me sometimes is being reminded (by, say the stories on this website, or going to my 12 step meeting or therapy group) that Other People Are Going Through Shit Too. I feel less alone that way. But being told ‘there is always someone worse off’ is sort of dismissive of our pain and is really a slap in the face when you’ve tried to open up to people…
A girl close to my heart that I was involved with was against suicide, she felt anyone wanting that was weak. She would say how could you take your life when your mother sacrifice so much to bring you here. She shown me videos of people born in worst ways and people who had short amount of time to live who was also inspired to live each day to the fullest….. I could just die right there and then the way she talk down to me.
I’ve had a uncle that could not understand my views on things, life change, work become harder and he began to drink more, the worlds i said that anyone could become suicide, came around and he slowly started to understand me just a little more and one day said “I now understand what you said when you said why we work so hard and in the end we die and lose it all.”
I say ignore the people that do not understand, try if you must to explain if you living with that person, but know that suicidal or not, they just haven’t reach that breaking point that we able to reach so easily.
I can’t accept suicide for myself, too prideful of being stoic and taking any amount of garbage or bad days with no support system, people, drugs, etc. But not everyone is a self-rightious wanker like me, I know…some just get tired of the whole stupid game, cease to be at all amused, exhausted by the idiots and/or the pain of their own microcosm. A mental prison no easier to escape than an actual prison. Altering brain chemistry to a more acceptable configuration may be seen as a lie to the self, even for us who believe we’re basically just brain chemistry (the Vonnegut school?). It isn’t the natural state of I, so it’s a lie. Death before “self”-denial.