It just seems I cant get a break recently. After all the drama and problems last week, I find out I`ll possibly need another root canal, which my mom cant afford. Shes been slamming stuff around and crying, just upset in general. She keeps saying all I asked you to do is brush your teeth, my credit is maxed out, your dad isnt going to help and then she quits talking to me period.
Its just stressing me out..I feel horrible I keep adding all this pressure, with my appointments and medicine..I cant even get myself to cry anymore. Im sick of being a burden to her.
Then because Im already feeling in a bad enough mood, I go and check out my dads facebook and see all that drama is still on his timeline. If the worse case scenario works out, which it is likely to work out, Im not sure how im going to do this anymore.
I watched a documentary on assisted suicide, and some of the things he said really hit home. “Im not tired of living, Im tired of this disease” and other things like that, and well its made me think more and more about my final decision
The only positive Ive had the past 2 weeks was I found the song “Love Her by Seether”
“Down on her knees, she wept on the floor – this hopeless life she wanted no more
Dead in her mind and cold to the bone – she opened her eyes and saw she was alone
She never found out how much I tried – all of the sadness she kept made me blind
She never found out how much I cried – the rope so tight on the night that she died…”