I don’t understand why I haven’t done it yet. I want to die so badly, but I think I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll fail, and have to live with regret andÂ embarrassmentÂ and have to live out my life with the pain I’ve been living with.
I was suppose to do it today. I have everything planned out. I just need to go to the store to get one more thing, and I’m good to go. Maybe I’ll do it this weekend? Maybe next week? I keep asking myself if I can even go through with it; if it will even happen. I keep wishing that someone could just end it all for me. For someone to make it easier for me; to shoot me in the head. Sometimes when I’m in a vehicle, I hope for car accident that will kill me on impact. Everywhere I go, I wish for something bad to happen to me.
I just hope I can get through with this. I have nothing to lose.