First off, I want to say that I understand how people here feel, because I felt that way for years. And I do believe in an individual’s right to take their own life. So I’m not going to tell anyone that it’s bad to feel that way. I’ve noticed that some people here feel that they’ve exhausted their options, so I just wanted to throw a few out there that a lot of people don’t know about. So if you’re someone that would like to live if you could just feel better, think about looking into the things below:
-Hormonal imbalances and blood sugar disorders can cause depression and anxiety. I have a female disorder (pcos) that causes both. Once I was treated, my depression and anxiety went away almost completely. Previously, I had crippling anxiety and depression for years, and thought about suicide daily. My boyfriend has a different blood sugar disorder, and before it was treated, he also had both of these things.
-Vitamin deficiencies can cause depression (probably anxiety, too). Look this one up, because there are many, many vitamin deficiencies that can do this. Most of us have vitamin deficiencies because of our modern crappy diets. If you can get a doctor to test your levels, try that. If you can’t, try lots of different vitamins and see if it helps.
-There are alternative options to mainstream psychiatric treatment. My boyfriend is in constant pain due to a chronic illness. His doctor suggested going to a doctor who does controlled Ketamine comas, because it can reset your brain. The doctor said that he had a patient who was a lawyer–the guy had the blackest depression for 20 years, totally devoid of hope. He did the Ketamine coma treatment, and it successfully reset his receptors and ended his depression. This treatment is very expensive ($13,000 for a week-long coma), so it should probably be a last resort. If you have to borrow the money, I’d do it anyway. After all, if it doesn’t work, you can still always kill yourself and not have to pay (don’t do that if you’re married though–you don’t want your spouse to be responsible for the debt). If it works, you’ll have to find a way to pay it out, but it won’t feel like the end of the world anymore.
These are the things that I happen to know about, but I’m sure there are others. The only other thing I want to say is…please don’t kill yourself for reasons have have to do with another person/other people. Don’t give them that kind of power. I felt suicidal after my first breakup–I couldn’t see that there would always be other opportunities, and I thought really bizarrely bad things about myself. Looking back, that guy just sucked. If your family are bad, leave them behind when you can and choose your own “family”, assembled from friends you’ve chosen. I’ve heard this advice given to gay kids whose shitty families rejects them. If you’re a teenager, please try to hold out until you have more power over your life. You can still always kill yourself then if you want. I remember when I was a teenager, I couldn’t see very far into the future and understand that things change considerably, including the way you see everything. Problems that seemed insurmountable to me then really weren’t. My perceptions were fucked.
Please just be sure that you really don’t have any options left, and please be absolutely sure that your problem is absolutely permanent. I think it’s probably good if you’re on this site, because even if you really don’t have anyone in your life to talk to you, you can talk to someone here who really understands–I see a lot of respect for other people’s lives on this site. Please consider that even if you feel like people in your real life don’t understand, that may not be an accurate perception. I saw a few people who did talk to their family on here, and then the family treated them like shit. Well, fuck them! It’s not a sign that you’re unlovable and that no one in the world would care. It’s only a sign that they’re heartless or just ignorant.
Again, I don’t feel that suicide is always the wrong choice. I just think that a lot of suicidal people see it as the only choice when they actually still have options. I do understand that when you have no will or hope left, it feels impossible to try anymore. Please try one more time! 🙂