I’ve always believed in giving everyone another chance and to forgive but not forget and all that, but what happens when the person who fucked up your life the most apologizes? The so called man who pushed your friend to commit suicide and your brother to attempt? The so called man who bullied and harassed you not only physically and emotionally, but sexually too for years before who took that final step and raped you. The reason you don’t trust, you don’t sleep and the reason you don’t even recognize yourself. Am I suppose to take the “right” way out and forgive him? Or do I just let my emotions overtake me and tell him to fuck off? I just don’t know anymore…
CPC
3 comments
Hey chick, don’t tell him to fuck off but don’t take the apology so easily. Tell it to him straight tell him how just an apology won’t cut it. He raped you and pushed your friend to suicide, more than just an apology is needed.
actions have consequences – apologies and forgiveness is all well and good, but “im sorry” doesn’t make everything all of a sudden all better.
you can accept the apology as a recognition of his wrong doing if he actually recognizes what he did wrong … far too many times i’ve heard people utter the words “i’m sorry” only because it’s the socially acceptable thing to do when the person they apologize to is upset or unhappy – but they never have a clue as to what they are actually apologizing for, and without that recognition they are destined to repeat the unwanted behavior.
but like a murderer might be “sorry” for killing and actually know that it’s wrong, they still must serve their time in prison for that wrongdoing – the person you speak of might have come to the realization that he did bad things to you – but that doesn’t absolve him from it and doesn’t allow him to be your friend or sex partner again.
it simply means the past has been resolved and all parties can move forward with the lessons they’ve learned.
dawg
Hey there,
Like you, I have sufferen abuse and stuff like that. I’m not sure if you are male or female, but nevertheless, being sexually abused sure can affect a person.
Should you or should you not forgive this person? Well, I’ve forgiven my abuser. That being said, that always doesn’t come so easy for all people. If you choose not to forgive him for awhile, so be it. But if you forgive him not, that’s also your choice. I recommend you forgive the person for your own sake. But I’m not you, you can do what you want.
It gets better 🙂
If you ever need someone to talk to, or just need a person to rant at or to talk about your problems, feel free to email me.
It’s brl.cents@gmail.com
Your friend,
Paul