I’ve been a heroin addict for about 3 years, I’ve OD’d twice and lost my job, partner, family and non-using friends in the process. I’m a gay man, which I guess doubles my risk of AIDS. I’m 29, and I can’t start over now. My life is done, death is in the fucking post. I’m so sick of people staring at my needle tracks like I’m some fucking lepper. My boyfriend of 7 years kicked me out, and I don’t blame him. Before heroin, I was a serious alcoholic. Like 3 litres of vodka a day. I’d be drinking at 9am, and it wouldn’t be over until I passed out. Now I have shit for blood and I’m going to jump in front of a train. I don’t know how I let it get this bad.
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5 comments
Clean needles!
Don’t share!
Can you get on methadone where you live?
The average addict attempts full detox and rehab seven times before getting better.
You have plenty of time to get clean, you are still young.
Good luck
I’m an AA member, recovery is possible, when your sick and tired of being sick and tired go to a meeting or go thru rehab as many times as it takes.
My last time out was just 4 months ago and it lasted about 3 months of shooting cocaine, I hadn’t done cocaine before that since jan. 2004. I have really scarred track marks that I don’t think will ever go away at 51 yrs old.
There’s nothing that a drink and a needle won’t make worse at this point.
Why consider a train if your a heroin addict, surely you know how much to take to end it all very peacefully.
With the absence of availability of barbiuates heroin is something I’ve thought about using to check out, yet I don’t know where to get it, nor do I know how much it would take. My suicidal thoughts aren’t because I’m in recovery nor because I’m an alcoholic/addict.
I’m in alot of pain right now (emotional) PTSD stuff, bi-polar etc.
The only place I get any measure of relief is when I’m at a meeting of AA.
I tried methadone and it just made me so much worse. I’ve detoxed twice but I’m always back after a few weeks. I hate this so much. I don’t even get high anymore, but if I don’t use my head catches fire and I can’t move. I have no idea what to do anymore.
And I don’t want to end it peacefully. I want to feel pain. I want people to notice when I die.
The first month is the hardest, you just gotta ride it out. If u detoxes twice before it means you can do it. 29 is not too old to start over! Plenty of options but one step at a time. I know you can detox again, just stick with it a little longer and don’t look back