I’m not sure what to say..
Everything feels like a really bad nightmare..
I just want to forget..
Pretend like this never happened..
My friend didn’t kill himself..
I want him to come back..
My friend Ryan Diaz shot himself yesterday.. needless to say.. he’s dead.. I still feel like its a bad dream.. and he’s gonna be back at school, smiling at everyone, and saying “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” They announced his suicide today at school.. I don’t understand how anyone there was functioning.. I don’t understand how anyone could move.. I kept crying.. I couldn’t stop.. they had a room open for anyone who needed to stay. We stayed all day, in a room full of 40+ people.. crying all day.. trying to comfort eachother.. especially the girl that had just gotten out of a relationship with him.. no one could believe he shot himself.. I still can’t.. I feel like its all my fault.. I had a perfect suicide all planned out for Sunday.. I hadn’t even told anyone.. I gave hints to one person.. but he didn’t understand.. and I had promised him that I would do nothing, but only if something big happened to change my mind.. well.. Ryans suicide was just that.. I can’t believe the pain everyone in there was going through.. plus all of his family! I saw it with my own eyes.. what ill be doing to them all.. I don’t think I can go through with it now.. its all my fault this happened.. someone had to DIE just for ME to LIVE! It’s not just coincidence.. there’s no such thing.. I hate myself.. I killed him!!! god.. Ryan looked so happy.. I swear to god, I’ve never seen him without a smile!! God.. Ryan.. I’m so sorry, Ryan!!!
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4 comments
Its not your fault man..and if ou dont believe it is a coincidence its not..its fate..and im sorry man this opened up to me..im sorry RIP ryan and live on in the next universe…im sorry man and now your life is saved..its not your fault…!!!!it never was..do you think ryan would make you want to think that…plz be okay…and i hope yu heal..:(
Idk what to do.. my life may be saved.. but it should’ve been me.. not him.. he was such a good man.. thank you.. I’m sorry..
Who.?
What can I say…loosing someone is a heartache from he!! The worst thing to do is blame yourself. It adds to the heartache. & it’s not your fault, he probably had his own problems & you said he just broke up w/a girl? Maybe the breakup got to him? Love does crazy things to you, can even destroy you! It’s not your fault though sweetie. You need to stay strong through this! Don’t kill yourself, i’ve been through hell & back & i’ve fought death. You’ll never forget him, but in time, you’ll heal 🙂